TILT Parenting: Raising Differently Wired Kids

Debbie Reber

TiLT Parenting, from parenting activist, speaker, and author Debbie Reber, features transformational interviews and conversations with authors, parenting experts, educators, and other parents aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently-wired kids (giftedness, ADHD, austim, 2e, learning differences, sensory processing issues, anxiety, and more). TiLT aims to help parents feel empowered and in choice in how they parent, have more peace in their daily lives, and parent and advocate for their child from a place of confidence and awareness so that our children can thrive in every way. https:/tiltparenting.com

Start Here
TPP 088a: Jessica Lahey Talks About the Gifts of Failure for Our Kids
4d ago
TPP 088a: Jessica Lahey Talks About the Gifts of Failure for Our Kids
My guest is Jessica Lahey, an educator, writer, and speaker, and the author of one of my favorite parenting books, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jess shares her insights about how we can best prepare our kids for an independent, successful adulthood in the way we practice autonomy supportive parenting versus overparenting, what it means to let our kids “fail” to help them thrive, how we can help our kids learn how to “sit with frustration,” and much more.  Jessica Lahey is an educator, writer, and speaker. She is an English and writing teacher, correspondent for the Atlantic, commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and writes the “Parent-Teacher Conference” column for the New York Times.  Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons.  Things you’ll learn from this episodeThe difference between overparenting and “autonomy supportive parenting"How many parents underestimate their kids and might be unknowingly fostering learned helplessness in themHow we can build scaffolding for our kids What Jessica wishes parents of atypical kids knew about teachersJessica’s advice for how we can best advocate for our kids in schoolHow we can foster more of a growth mindset in our children, especially those who are perfectionist, as well as how to NOT foster “learned helplessness” Resources mentioned about the gift of failureJessica Lahey’s websiteThe Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica LaheyWhy Parents Need To Let Their Kids Fail (The Atlantic article)Dr. Ross Greene Talks About Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (podcast episode)The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous and Smart About Money by Ron LieberAm Writing (Jessica’s podcast)The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross GreeneJessica Lahey’s speaking bibliographyWhen Children Say ‘I Can’t,’ But They Can, and Adults Know It (NY Times article by Jessica Lahey)Support the show
TPP 088a: Jessica Lahey Talks About the Gifts of Failure for Our Kids
4d ago
TPP 088a: Jessica Lahey Talks About the Gifts of Failure for Our Kids
My guest is Jessica Lahey, an educator, writer, and speaker, and the author of one of my favorite parenting books, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jess shares her insights about how we can best prepare our kids for an independent, successful adulthood in the way we practice autonomy supportive parenting versus overparenting, what it means to let our kids “fail” to help them thrive, how we can help our kids learn how to “sit with frustration,” and much more.  Jessica Lahey is an educator, writer, and speaker. She is an English and writing teacher, correspondent for the Atlantic, commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and writes the “Parent-Teacher Conference” column for the New York Times.  Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons.  Things you’ll learn from this episodeThe difference between overparenting and “autonomy supportive parenting"How many parents underestimate their kids and might be unknowingly fostering learned helplessness in themHow we can build scaffolding for our kids What Jessica wishes parents of atypical kids knew about teachersJessica’s advice for how we can best advocate for our kids in schoolHow we can foster more of a growth mindset in our children, especially those who are perfectionist, as well as how to NOT foster “learned helplessness” Resources mentioned about the gift of failureJessica Lahey’s websiteThe Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica LaheyWhy Parents Need To Let Their Kids Fail (The Atlantic article)Dr. Ross Greene Talks About Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (podcast episode)The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous and Smart About Money by Ron LieberAm Writing (Jessica’s podcast)The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross GreeneJessica Lahey’s speaking bibliographyWhen Children Say ‘I Can’t,’ But They Can, and Adults Know It (NY Times article by Jessica Lahey)Support the show
TPP 301: Navigating Big Life Transitions with Differently Wired Children (a Solocast)
1w ago
TPP 301: Navigating Big Life Transitions with Differently Wired Children (a Solocast)
I haven’t done a solocast in a while, but when you talk, I listen, and this topic has been requested by many of you, so I decided to dedicate this episode to talk about navigating big life transitions with differently wired kids. Our family has gone through our fair share of big changes, which you’ll hear all about in this episode, so this is something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about. Especially as a parent of a differently wired kid, I know that there are some extra challenges that might come up when their routines, environment, life circumstances, or supports change, and our kids are also more likely to be resistant to changes (even if they are beneficial). So today I’ll be sharing the strategies I’ve personally found helpful while going through big transitions with Asher. In this episode, I talk about key things such as why being honest when communicating with your kid is so important to help them understand and process change, how being vulnerable can be a way to show support, how to validate our kids’ feelings about the changes or transitions, and how to identify their concerns so you can make plans to address them in advance. I also share about what adjustment disorder is and the kind of extra support you might need during transitions. Tilt Parenting Founder & CEO Debbie Reber (MA) is a parenting activist, bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker. A certified Positive Discipline trainer and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie’s most recent book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. Debbie’s Tilt Parenting Podcast is the top performing podcast for parents, caregivers, educators, and professionals raising and supporting neurodivergent children, and has more than 4 million downloads. In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired. In the summer of 2020, she co-created the Parenting in Place Masterclass series.Things you'll learn from this episodeThe benefits and growth that can come from navigating big changes as a familyWhy honesty is so important when communicating with your child about big changesWhat to share versus what not to share with your child about the transitions you go throughHow to validate the big emotions and thoughts that big transitions can bring up in your childThe importance of doing your own work as a parent to be able to support our kids during transitionsWhat adjustment disorder is and the extra support you might need to help your child through oneHow being vulnerable with your kids can be really supportive for themIdentifying the concerns that our kids have and coming up with plans to address them in advanceCreating new routines to create security for our kids during big transitions For more info, visit: the show
TPP 029a: How to Live a Satisfying Life While Raising a Differently-Wired Kid, with Samantha Ettus
Aug 5 2022
TPP 029a: How to Live a Satisfying Life While Raising a Differently-Wired Kid, with Samantha Ettus
In this episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I talk with Samantha Ettus, a renowned work-life balance expert, author, radio show host, and media personality. Sam is passionate about helping people, and especially moms, find create a more fulfilled, healthier, and more satisfying life. She writes about her ideas in her new book The Pie Life: A Guilt Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction.I was excited to talk with Sam about her new book and ideas behind what she refers to as “embracing the mess and bumps” that come hand-in-hand with living a truly fulfilled life, since messiness and bumps seem to a part of any parent raising a differently-wired kid’s experience. In our conversation, we talk about everything from self-care and intentional parenting to getting our partners up to speed since often moms seem to be the ones holding onto a lot of the information relevant to our kids’ day-to-day life.Samantha Ettus is a work-life expert whose goal is to find the spark within each one of us and turn it into a fire. She is a best-selling author, a writer for Forbes, a sought after speaker, a Harvard MBA, and host of a nationally syndicated call-in radio show. Sam has shared her advice on hundreds of television shows and media outlets including The TODAY Show, Access Hollywood, NBC Nightly News, CNN, The Doctors, and Fox and Friends, and in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and USA Today. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhy working moms are, in many ways, set up to failThoughts on being a more intentional parent, embracing empathy, and seeing our kids for who they areWhat’s reasonable to expect when designing a healthy, fulfilled life, and how to find work-life balanceHow to get your parenting partner on-board / up-to-speed on important matters related to our childrenWhy self-care is so critical for mothers and how to build self-care practices into daily lifeSam’s thoughts on juggling work and the unpredictable nature of raising a differently-wired kid Resources mentioned for work-life balance + parentingSamantha Ettus’ websiteThe Pie Life: A Guilt-Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction by Samantha EttusSam’s Tedx Talk: The Secret to Unlocking a Child’s PotentialWorking Mom’s Lifestyle Radio ShowSupport the show
TPP 300: Executive Function Coach Seth Perler on What Is / Isn't Working in School
Aug 2 2022
TPP 300: Executive Function Coach Seth Perler on What Is / Isn't Working in School
I wanted to have a frank and honest conversation with my friend, executive function coach, and frequent guest of the pod, Seth Perler, about what is and  is not working in schools right now, especially as we are once again in that back-to-school season. Of course there have been many changes in education since the start of COVID, including the inclusion of technology in almost every aspect of learning and the increased testing that students are being subjected to since returning to campus. And we know that neurodivergent kids tend to be impacted by these changes more than other students. So what can we do as parents? Where should we be putting our energies? That’s what Seth and I get into in this episode.Seth Perler is an Executive Function Coach and Consultant with extensive experience addressing extraordinarily diverse learning needs. Seth was a teacher for 12 years, working with a diverse range of Gifted and Twice Exceptional (2E) students in charter schools for 8 years, and teaching students with ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia and other executive function challenges, as well as students with developmental disabilities. He’s been an Executive Function coach for middle, high school and college students since 2010.Things you'll learn from this episodeSeth’s opinion on what is working and what is not working in schools right nowAdvice on how to push back on the increase in testing that has started since students returned to in-person lessonsWhat Seth would say to parents who have kids with ADHD who are checked out of their school dayIdeas for getting educators on board in shifting the paradigmHow to collaborate with a student who insists executive functioning strategies don’t actually work for themPractical strategies or ideas for parents who are dealing with that challenge of technology being useful but full of distractions and how to tailor the approach if a kid is showing resistanceSeth’s thoughts on school refusal and children’s mental healthResources mentioned for What Is / Isn't Working in SchoolSeth Perler’s websiteSeth Perler’s YouTube ChannelIntroduction to Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal TheoryA “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, Part 1 (podcast episode)A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, Part 2 (podcast episode)A Conversation with Executive Functioning Coach Seth Perler (original podcast episode)Seth Perler Talks to Asher About Resistance (podcast episode)Seth Perler on Helping Kids Work Through Resistance, Part 2 for Parents (podcast episode)A Conversation Between Debbie Reber and Seth Perler for Teachers and School Administrators (podcast episode)For more info, visit: the show
TPP 142a: Kayce Hughlett Talks About Her Differently Wired Son's Drug Addiction
Jul 29 2022
TPP 142a: Kayce Hughlett Talks About Her Differently Wired Son's Drug Addiction
My guest is Kayce Stevens Hughlett, a psychotherapist, life coach, spiritual director, and speaker, and the author of three books. Kayce and I have been friends for many years, and she was a compassionate listener and empathetic friend as I was going through some of my most challenging years with Asher. At the time, Kayce was a few years ahead in her journey with her own differently wired son, who was in his early twenties.I wanted to bring Kayce onto the show to talk about what she and her family went through when her son, as a young teen with an ADHD diagnosis, got involved with drugs. I know that this is a possibility many parents with atypical kids fear, and in fact some listeners may be in this very situation today. Hearing Kayce tell her story and share how she not only got through it, but how her family emerged on the other side more engaged and connected, is incredibly powerful. I hope you find her story as inspiring as I do. Kayce Stevens Hughlett started her writing career as a blogger in the early 2000’s and found her voice as a contributor to several collections and online publications. Now she is the author of three varied yet beautifully intertwined and popular books. Her 2012 nonfiction book, As I Lay Pondering: Daily Invitations To Live a Transformed Life, is a lyrical and lucid treasure that invites readers to new awakenings throughout the year. Blue: a novel, an award-winning study of three women in the Pacific Northwest, released September 10, 2015. Her journey memoir, SoulStroller: experiencing the weight, whispers, & wings of the world, was published in November 2018.  Things you’ll learn from this episodeKayce’s story of being the mom of “that kid” in a time when being differently wired was less acceptableThe importance of listening to our gut in conjunction with “experts”Why we want to always choose from a place of love (and not fear) when making parenting decisionsThe power of community to get through difficult times with our childrenWhy Kayce says that parenting Jonathan through their challenges saved her life Resources mentioned for ADHD and drug useKayce Stevens Hughlett’s websiteSoulStroller: Experiencing the Weight, Whispers, & Wings of the World by Kayce Stevens HughlettBlue: A Novel by Kayce Stevens HughlettAs I Lay Pondering: Daily Invitations To Live a Transformed Life by Kayce Stevens HughlettSupport the show
TPP 299: Dr. Jonine Nazar-Biesman on Navigating the Neuropsych Evaluation Process
Jul 26 2022
TPP 299: Dr. Jonine Nazar-Biesman on Navigating the Neuropsych Evaluation Process
The neuropsych assessment process can be daunting and complicated to navigate, especially in recent years as a result of COVID,  so I’m excited to share my conversation with pediatric and adolescent young adult neuropsychologist, Dr. Jonine Nazar-Biesman. Jonine’s work is about taking into consideration the whole child and the big picture when assessments are being done. In this episode, we talk about what parents should think about when vetting psychologists to assess their child, the difference between a neuropsych, a psychoeducational, and a psychological assessment, and how parents can navigate getting a better assessment if they believe their child got the wrong diagnosis. We also talked about what to do with all the feedback parents get from an evaluation and how that feedback can best be relayed to our kids, and to their schools.Dr. Jonine Nazar-Biesman has over 25 years of experience specializing in assessing and treating children, adolescents, and young adults with neurodevelopmental disorders such as Autism, ADHD, learning differences, and genetic conditions. She works closely with families, treatment teams, schools, and the community to ameliorate social-emotional, behavioral, and educational challenges.  Things you'll learn from this episodeWhat parents should think about when looking for someone to do an assessment for their child, as well as tips for vetting evaluatorsThe difference between a neuropsych, a psychoeducational, and a psychological assessmentHow Jonine works with students and adjusts the evaluation process during the assessment in response to what she’s discoveringHow parents can navigate getting a better assessment if they believe their child got the wrong diagnosisWhether or not a neuropsych evaluation would benefit every neurodivergent childHow feedback is ideally shared with parents, kids, and schools after an assessment has been completedHow the COVID pandemic has impacted the assessment processHow parents can best use the detailed feedback they receive as part of the neuropsych evaluation processResources MentionedJonine Nazar-Biesman’s websiteJonine Nazar-Biesman’s blogBridges AcademyDIR/Floortime Model For more info, visit: the show
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
Jul 22 2022
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
My guest this week is Steve Silberman, an award-winning science writer who authored the 2015 book NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity, a brilliant book that upends conventional thinking about autism and suggests a broader model for acceptance, understanding, and full participation in society for people who think differently. In our conversation, Steve and I talk about neurodivergence, autism, acceptance, tolerance, changing cultures, systemic change, and so much more.  Steve Silberman is an award-winning science writer whose articles have appeared in Wired, the New York Times, the New Yorker, the Financial Times, the Boston Globe, the MIT Technology Review, and more.and the author of NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity (Avery 2015), which Oliver Sacks called a “sweeping and penetrating history…presented with a rare sympathy and sensitivity.” In April 2016, Silberman gave the keynote speech at the United Nations for World Autism Awareness Day. He has given talks on the history of autism at Yale, Harvard, MIT, Oxford, the National Academy of Sciences, Queen Mary University, Apple, Microsoft, Google, the 92nd Street Y, Imperial College London, the MIND Institute at UC Davis, and many other major institutions. His TED talk, “The Forgotten History of Autism,” has been viewed more than a million times and translated into 25 languages. Things you’ll learn from this episodeThe impetus for Steve’s book NeuroTribesHow and why the anti-vaccine movement has negatively affected the autistic communityThe real impact of language like “epidemic” in relation to neurodifferences like autismHow Steve’s book NeuroTribes has been received by members of the autistic communitySteve’s thoughts on how parents raising neurodiverse kids can best support the neurodiversity movementThe importance of autistic peer mentoring Resources mentioned for Steve Silberman, autism, and neurodiversitySteve Silberman’s websiteNeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve SilbermanSteve Silberman’s TED TalkThe Geek Syndrome (Steve’s article in Wired Magazine, 12/01/01)AutreatThe Thinking Person’s Guide to AutismThe Real Experts: Readings for Parents of Autistic ChildrenUniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Barry PrizantSupport the show
TPP 298: Pat Harvey on DBT and Strategies for Parenting Emotionally Intense Teens
Jul 19 2022
TPP 298: Pat Harvey on DBT and Strategies for Parenting Emotionally Intense Teens
Parenting a differently wired child can be challenging and as I sat down with my guest, clinical social worker Pat Harvey, to have this conversation, I wanted to acknowledge and validate the experiences we have as parents as much as we do the same for our kids. As you’ll hear from Pat, her work centers around helping parents navigate raising kids who have highly intense emotions …the kind of emotions that can cause big disruptions at home. In this conversation, Pat talks about her book Parenting a Teen Who has Intense Emotions, how she supports families using Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT, the three priorities within the DBT framework, some of the critical things to understand to effectively parent emotionally intense kids, and where to start if you are looking for more support for yourself. Pat Harvey, LCSW-C, ACSW, has been a clinical social worker for one 30 years, currently focusing on supporting and guiding parents of kids with emotional challenges using a DBT framework. The co-author of 2 books on parenting, Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions and Parenting a Teen Who has Intense Emotions, a book for siblings and a book for clinicians, she has also spoken nationally and in Canada about DBT and about working with parents.Things you'll learn from this episode:The similarities and differences between cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)How DBT prioritizes the three core tenets of safety, treatment, and quality of lifeWhy is DBT so effective in helping teens who are engaging in risky behaviors, including self-harm, suicidal ideation, or past suicide attemptsCritical things to be aware of in order to effectively parent emotionally intense kidsThe biggest roadblock for parents that prevent them from leaning into DBTWhere to start and the things to pay attention to if you are parenting an emotionally intense kid Resources mentioned for DBT & Parenting Emotionally Intense Teens:Pat Harvey’s websiteParenting a Teen Who has Intense Emotions: DBT Skills to Help Your Teen Navigate Emotional and Behavioral Challenges by Pat Harvey and Britt RathboneParenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Help Your Child Regulate Emotional Outbursts and Aggressive Behaviors by Pat Harvey and Jeanine PenzoHey, I'm Here Too!: A Book for Tween/Teen Siblings of a Young Person With Emotional Issues by Pat Harvey For more info, visit: the show
TPP 139a: Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD on Redefining Giftedness and Intelligence
Jul 15 2022
TPP 139a: Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD on Redefining Giftedness and Intelligence
My guest Scott Barry Kaufman PhD, a psychologist, author, and podcaster who is passionate about changing, or perhaps expanding, the way intelligence is defined and measured. In our conversation, we talk about his ideas about intelligence, potential, and what it actually takes for our children to develop into self-actualized adults.  Scott is a cognitive scientist and humanistic psychologist exploring the mind, creativity, and the depths of human potential. He is a professor at Columbia University and founder and director of the Center for the Science of Human Potential. Dr. Kaufman received a B.S. in psychology and human computer interaction from Carnegie Mellon, an M. Phil in experimental psychology from the University of Cambridge under a Gates Cambridge Scholarship, and a Ph.D. in cognitive psychology from Yale University. He is also an Honorary Principal Fellow at the University of Melbourne’s Centre for Wellbeing Science.Dr. Kaufman hosts the The Psychology Podcast, and his writing has appeared in The Atlantic, Scientific American, Psychology Today, and Harvard Business Review. He is the author and editor of 9 books, including his latest book Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhy Scott believes traditional markers of intelligence are missing the markThe problem with assessing for “labels” instead a child’s highest strengthsScott’s thoughts on how we can create a better educational modelWhy potential in our children is a “moving target”How gifted education as a construct has a “fixed mindset”Scott’s ideas for expanding the definition of intelligence through a multiple manifestations of intelligence lensWhy we should focus on self-actualization as opposed to excellenceWhat qualities we should be helping our children develop to become self-actualized Resources mentioned for redefining giftednessScott Barry Kaufman’s websiteScott at Scientific American MagazineScott’s podcast, The Psychology PodcastUngifted: Intelligence Redefined by Scott Barry KaufmanWired to Create: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Creative Mind by Scott Barry KaufmanTwice Exceptional: Supporting and Educating Bright and Creative Students with Learning Difficulties by Scott Barry KaufmanScott’s TEDxZumbroRiver Talk: A New Theory of Human IntelligenceEye to Eye National / Marcus SoutraBridges AcademyScott’s new Characteristics of Self-Actualization ScaleSupport the show
TPP 297: Jennifer Natalya Fink on Disability Lineage — What It Is and How it Impacts Families
Jul 12 2022
TPP 297: Jennifer Natalya Fink on Disability Lineage — What It Is and How it Impacts Families
In this conversation with Jennifer Natalya Fink, we explore the nuances of her fascinating new book, All Our Families: Disability Lineage and the Future of Kinship. The premise of Jennifer’s book is that disability is often described as a tragedy, a crisis, or an aberration, even though more than 1 in 5 people worldwide have a disability. She wanted to explore the question: Why is this common human experience rendered exceptional? Instead, Jennifer is advocating for a reclamation of disability as a history, a culture, and an identity. She is pushing for a world where families see disability in the context of a collective sense of belonging, as cause for celebration, and is a call for a radical reimagining of carework and kinship. We went deep into this idea of a disability lineage, and Jennifer shared what’s at stake if we don’t know and claim our family history. We also discussed why getting a disability diagnosis can be traumatic for families and how it’s accentuated by how our society thinks about disability. Lastly, Jennifer shared her thoughts on making the care system more equitable by embracing disability as a collective experience rather than something individual families have to deal with. ***Jennifer Natalya Fink is director of the Program in Disability Studies and a professor of English at Georgetown University. She is the author of 6 books and founder of the Gorilla Press, a nonprofit promoting youth literacy through bookmaking. Fink is the winner of the Dana Award for the Novel and the Catherine Doctorow Prize for Innovative Fiction, as well as a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. First and foremost, she is a mother; the transformative experience of parenting her autistic daughter is the center of her work. Things you’ll learn from this episodeHow Jennifer’s own family story led her to be interested in researching disability and disability lineageWhat a disability lineage isWhy getting a disability diagnosis can be traumatic for families and how it’s accentuated by our society’s views of disabilityThe importance of understanding that care and disability are woven into the human experienceWhat we are losing out on by not knowing our family disability history as families raising differently wired kidsHow even good-intentioned comments can feed ableist beliefsHow we can work to make the care system more equitable, including seeing disability as a collective experience rather than something families must face on an individual basis Resources mentioned for Disability Lineage — What It Is and How it Impacts FamiliesAll Our Families: Disability Lineage and the Future of KinshipJennifer Natayla Fink’s websiteJennifer on InstagramDisability Studies at Georgetown UniversityMia MingusFor more info, visit: the show
TPP 046a: Anders Ronnau Talks About His Powerful Approach to Transforming ADHD
Jul 8 2022
TPP 046a: Anders Ronnau Talks About His Powerful Approach to Transforming ADHD
My guest is Anders Ronnau, a master coach, hypnotherapist, trainer, and writer, and the ADHD coach behind the Transforming ADHD Movement. Anders is the leading ADHD coach in Denmark, and for the past seven years has been teaching both parenting programs and been an ADHD coach trainer. He recently launched his online community and business, Transforming ADHD.Anders has a unique approach to working with his clients, who are anywhere from six years old to adults, and I was really intrigued to learn more about his work and find out what its implications are for our children. His focus is on development his client’s cognitive skills and behaviors to help them be better at managing their time, focus, and temperament, as well as rebuilding their self-worth. Anders Ronnau is fiercely committed to helping children, teenagers, and adults transform their ADHD through cognitive enhancement, and inspire them to become extra-ordinary with their unique gifts and talents. His focus is on developing his clients’ cognitive skills, in order to help them become better at managing their time, focus and temper, as well as rebuilding their self-worth. He works with clients from 6 years old and up. Only recently has he translated his work into English as articles, videos, and online courses.  Things you’ll learn from this episodeA look at whether or not positive behavior systems work in the long-term for kids with ADHDHow to gain access to the inner world of a childHow “externalization” helps change behavior and leads to transforming ADHDWhy a differently-wired person’s inner negative self-talk is their biggest hurdle as they get olderAnder’s tips for things parents can do at home to help their kidsHow the magic question—What were you trying to do?—allows us to reach out with curiosity instead of blame or anger Resources mentioned for transforming ADHDTransforming ADHD (Ander’s website)Special TiLT page on Transforming ADHDTransforming ADHD on FacebookTransforming ADHD YouTube Channel Support the show
TPP 296: A Conversation with Dr. Marcia Eckerd on Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NVLD)
Jul 5 2022
TPP 296: A Conversation with Dr. Marcia Eckerd on Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NVLD)
This week I'm talking about nonverbal learning disorder, also known as NLD or NVLD, with Dr. Marcia Eckerd. I learned so much from this conversation, including what NVLD actually is, examples of how it might show up in kids, and why it’s important to recognize if your child has NLD instead of thinking their behavior is the result of something else like ADHD or social anxiety. Marcia also shared how she works with families making sure the child’s self-esteem is taken into account and not making them feel they are less than others because they process things differently. Marcia Eckerd, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist with over 30 years’ experience. As a therapist and provider of neuropsychological evaluations, she identified and worked with many children with Non-Verbal Learning Disability. She serves on the CT Autism Spectrum Disorder Advisory Council and the professional advisory boards of SmartKidsWithLD and NeuroClastic.com, a nonprofit providing creative educational resources on autism. She has a regular blog on Psychology Today, “Everyday Neurodiversity” as well as writing professional articles on autism and articles for multiple websites and magazines on NVLD, autism, evaluations and executive functions, such as SmartKidsWithLD.org, Autism Parenting Magazine and Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism. She’s spoken extensively on NVLD and autism in national conferences for educators, clinical professionals and parents.A former Director of Clinical Programs at the New Learning Therapy Center, she also helped establish the Norwalk Hospital-Yale collaboration Pediatric Development and Therapy Center. She continues to be on the Associate Medical Staff at Norwalk Hospital.Things you’ll learn from this episodeHow Marcia describes her work of being a “translator” between individuals with NVLD and the world around themWhat nonverbal learning disorder is and how it might show up in kidsWhy it’s so important to distinguish NVLD from things like autism, ADHD, or social anxietyWhy prioritizing our kids’ self-esteem is so criticalWhy kids with NVLD might struggle when they get to middle school as their social and school life start to changeThe different executive functions that can be worked on alongside NVLD depending on what your child needs help withHow to support your child with NVLD and the kind of support parents can look for Resources mentioned for What is Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NVLD)Dr. Marcia Eckerd’s websiteDr. Marcia’s blog on Psychology TodayAre We Giving Autistic Children PTSD at School? DSM / Social Communication DisorderAutism Level UpSupport the show
TPP 086a: Dr. Michael Postma of SENG on the Plight of Gifted and 2e Kids
Jul 1 2022
TPP 086a: Dr. Michael Postma of SENG on the Plight of Gifted and 2e Kids
This is a deep dive into the world of gifted and 2e children, with Dr. Mike Postma, a writer, consultant and presenter specializing in the education and well-being of twice exceptional and intellectually gifted students and their families. Mike is also the Executive Director of SENG, which stands for Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted, an organization whose mission it is to empower families and communities to guide gifted and talented individuals to reach their goals: intellectually, physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, as well as the author of the new book, The Inconvenient Student: Critical Issues in the Identification and Education of Twice-Exceptional Students.Mike and I talked about the challenges facing gifted and 2e / twice-exceptional students, especially social and emotional challenges, and this is one of those episodes that just might leave you feeling pensive, concerned, and ignited all at the same time. Dr. Michael Postma is an educator, author, speaker, coach and consultant dedicated to the holistic development of the gifted/twice-exceptional (2e) community. Over the last two decades, Dr. Postma has served as a gifted teacher in the classroom, as an administrator and leader of gifted schools – both public and charter schools in multiple states, and was the architect of the Minnetonka Navigator Program, a magnet school in Minnesota specifically designed for highly gifted and twice-exceptional students. He currently is the President and co-founder of Gifted and Thriving, LLC .Things you’ll learn from this episodeMike Postma’s personal story of growing up a gifted and 2e kid with very little supportWhat “holistic development” means in the context of 2e childrenWhy Mike says social emotional development has to be one of the foundations for academic and intellectual potentialWhere society is with regards to understanding asynchronous developmentHow schools can make small accommodations to make school more successful for gifted and 2e studentsMike thoughts on how the educational system needs to be revampedWhy Mike says 2e people are among the most vulnerable populations Resources mentioned for Dr. Mike Postma & Gifted and 2e KidsDr. Michael Postma’s website, Gifted MattersSENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted)SENG Online Support Group ListingsThe Inconvenient Student: Critical Issues in the Identification and Education of Twice-Exceptional Studentsby Dr. Michael PostmaDr. Devon MacEachron on Supporting 2e Learners (podcast episode)The Search for Shangri-La: Finding the Appropriate Educational Environment for Gifted and Twice-Exceptional Children, a Parents’ Guide (article in 2e Learners by Dr. Postma)SENG Annual ConferenceSENG Community and SENG ConnectSupport the show
TPP 295: Dr. Gwen Palafox on Supporting and Empowering Neurodivergent Young Adults in the Transitions to Adulthood
Jun 28 2022
TPP 295: Dr. Gwen Palafox on Supporting and Empowering Neurodivergent Young Adults in the Transitions to Adulthood
My guest for this conversation is Dr. Gwen Palafox, a psychologist who has been supporting disabled and neurodivergent young adults in the transition to adulthood for more than twenty years. I brought Gwen on the show to talk about helping our teens and young adults “launch” into adulthood, specifically how to prepare for and help them acquire the skills and support that would help them move into the version of independent living that’s right for them. In our conversation, we looked at some of the common challenges neurodivergent teens face in the transition to adulthood, how we can navigate systems and conversations with our kids to help them feel empowered and capable and have agency, and how to respond to our own concerns and fears about what comes next. Dr. Gwen Palafox is a licensed psychologist who has been actively (and obsessively) supporting disabled and neurodivergent individuals for over two decades. She’s known to be laser-focused on taking the guesswork out of adult preparedness, helping teens and young adults find their most fulfilled and joyful lives. She is honored to be a part of the lives of her wonderfully complex, unique, and awesome clients and their families.  Things you’ll learn from this episodeThe underlying philosophy for the way Gwen supports young adultsThe critical skills neurodivergent young adults need in order to launch successfullyExamples of replacing automated support aids with self-management systems as a way to gain independenceThe power in engaging teens in small, daily chores as a way to shift responsibility and build skillsHow parents can support teens who are feeling scared and anxious about leaving home, especially in times of CovidThe common challenges neurodivergent teens face when transitioning into adulthoodHow Gwen’s Bright Life System helps pinpoint the skills teens need to work on before leaving the school system Resources mentioned for a Neurodivergent Transition to AdulthoodDr. Gwen’s Meaningful Growth websiteDr. Gwen’s YouTube ChannelDr. Gwen on InstagramDevon Price on InstagramThe Bright Life System (use code TILT15 to get a 15 percent discount off this course)The Help Group (Sherman Oaks)Adulting Made Easy: Things Someone Should Have Told You About Getting Your Grown-Up Act Together by Amanda MorinSEL FrameworkFor more info, visit: the show
TPP 128a: Digital Media and Technology Expert Devorah Heitner on Helping Kids Be Screenwise
Jun 24 2022
TPP 128a: Digital Media and Technology Expert Devorah Heitner on Helping Kids Be Screenwise
This weeks’ episode is a must-listen to if your child uses technology and screens of any sort and your spending energy managing your kids’ screen time. My guest this week is Dr. Devorah Heitner, an expert on young people’s relationship with digital media and technology. Devorah is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and founder of Raising Digital Natives, and her mission is to cultivate a culture of empathy and social/emotional literacy. Devorah did a fascinating TEDx talk a few years back called The Challenges of Raising a Digital Native, which I highly recommend you check out.Today Devorah and I talk about kids’ relationship with screens, everything from the specific challenges related to screens and technology for differently wired kids to how we as parents can start being effective mentors for our child when it comes to helping them develop healthy screen habits. I asked Devorah the big questions I hear all the time from parents, like how much time spent on screens is too much, does the type of activity ours kids are doing make a difference when setting limits, and much more. An expert on young people’s relationship with digital media and technology, Dr. Devorah Heitner is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and founder of Raising Digital Natives. Her mission is to cultivate a culture of empathy and social/emotional literacy.  She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern. She is delighted to be raising her own digital native. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhy it’s important that we focus on tech literacy in our kids rather than specific appsThe most common challenges for differently wired kids when it comes to their relationship with technology and “managing” their screen timeHow we might use their skills and interest in tech to bridge into areas of strengthThe challenges stemming from schools’ increasing reliance on technology in a 1 to 1 capacityWhether or not there is true value in online or virtual social relationshipsWhy our role as parents should be that of mentor when it comes to our child’s relationship with screensThe difference between tech savvy and being wise about technologyWhy all screen media isn’t created equal—it’s important to discriminate between the way our kids use mediaHow much “screen time” is too much?What are goals should be in helping our kids become wise technology consumersStrategies to start using to become a positive “screen” mentor for our children Resources mentioned for managing kids’ screen timeRaising Digital Natives (Devorah’s website)Phonewise Boot Camp Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Dr. Devorah HeitnerDevorah’s TEDx Talk, The Challenges of Raising a Digital NativeHoward Gardner / Multiple IntelligencesSupport the show
TPP 294: Zach Morris Talks About Somatic Therapy for Processing Trauma in Differently Wired Kids
Jun 21 2022
TPP 294: Zach Morris Talks About Somatic Therapy for Processing Trauma in Differently Wired Kids
My guest today is Zach Morris, a semi-frequent guest of this show. I always love my conversations with Zach, so I was so happy to bring him back to talk about somatic therapy, and how this modality can be especially powerful in supporting differently wired kids struggling with anxiety and depression and recovering from both big and little T trauma. In our conversation, we get into the Polyvagal Theory, what somatic therapy is, what it looks like in practice with kids, the underlying power of somatic healing, and how it can help kids develop resilience, even in the face of stressful situations.  Zach Morris is a thought leader in education. He is committed to helping people increase compassion, collaboration, and learning. Zach supports individuals, families, and organizations who aim to develop a greater sense of safety and empowerment in themselves, in their relationships, and in their communities.Gently guiding humans through the resistance they encounter is at the core of Zach’s work. He is inspired by the science of how people learn and change, and he aims to translate this to help individuals and communities improve awareness, communication, and structural support. Zach has 10+ years experience in the classroom, ranging from inner-city public school to rural therapeutic boarding school, and from non-traditional private school to individual co-op homeschool. Zach now serves as a learning consultant and communication coach, and he is most at home in the mountains of Montana, where he lives and works. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhat Zach has been seeing among neurodivergent kids in response to the disruption of the past few yearsWhat the Polyvagal Theory is and how the sympathetic system works when our flight, freeze, fight, or fawn response is activatedWhat “little t” traumas are and these may reflect the experience of many neurodivergent kidsWhat somatic therapy is and how it helps kids foster and develop resilience around stressful situationsExamples of what “discharging” looks likeHow we can help our kids begin connecting the dots between their feelings and their actionsWhy there is a relationship between neurodivergence and trauma, and how profound sensitive experiences makes one more open to somatic therapy Resources mentioned for somatic therapy & kidsZach Morris’ education consulting and family support home, Alive at LearnThe Center for Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg’s Global Organization)Educator Zach Morris on Supporting our Kids in Transforming Their World View (podcast episode)Nonviolent Communication, Whole-Person Learning, and Neurodiverse Students (podcast episode)Peter LevineMona Delahooke on the Power of Brain-Body Parenting (Tilt Parenting Podcast)Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart on Breaking Generational Cycles (Tilt Parenting Podcast)Support the show
TPP 015a: A Conversation with 11-year-old Asher About Travel and Vacation Strategies
Jun 17 2022
TPP 015a: A Conversation with 11-year-old Asher About Travel and Vacation Strategies
In this special kid’s POV edition of the podcast, Asher and I share our best tips and strategies for making travel run more smoothly and having successful vacations with neurodivergent kids. As much as many families and their children may love going on vacation, the change in routine, different foods, shifting expectations, and new stimuli can even turn a trip to “The Happiest Place on Earth” (Disneyland) into one full of stress, anxiety, meltdowns, and other challenges. And while we know this rings true for pretty much any and every family, for parents raising differently wired kids, the extremes highs and lows can bigger.In this episode, Asher and I share what we’ve learned over the years when it comes to making sure everyone’s needs and expectations on any given vacation are met, or at the very least, addressed, and walk listeners through the different schedules and planners we’ve we incorporated into our vacation prep.   Things you’ll learn from this episodeThe benefits of talking through and getting clear on expectations (for all members of the family) prior to leaving for a vacationA strategy for using the collaborative problem solving approach to identify, address, and pre-solve concerns ahead of timeHow to make departure day go more smoothlyThe benefits of exploring and researching aspects of a vacation time well in advance of the trip (including accommodations, activities, etc.)A strategy for using written schedules coupled with frequent reviews during a vacation keeps everyone’s expectations in checkThe benefits of bringing a child into the planning process (and letting them determine some of what will happen on vacation)Why it’s useful to work with your child to discover what they need most on vacation and then incorporating it into your daily plan (ie: rest, chill time, etc.) Resources mentioned for successful vacations with neurodivergent kidsDownload a PDF of our Family Goals WorksheetDownload a PDF of our Vacation Concerns WorksheetDownload a PDF of our Daily Vacation Planner WorksheetLook at our Departure Plan whiteboardSupport the show
TPP 293: Catherine Newman on How Kids Can Learn Social Skills and Ways to be a Good Human
Jun 14 2022
TPP 293: Catherine Newman on How Kids Can Learn Social Skills and Ways to be a Good Human
Today’s episode is all about social skills, but from an updated lens that really speaks to the lived experiences of today’s kids. My guest is writer and journalist Catherine Newman, and we’re going to dive into her new book, What Can I Say? A Kids Guide to Super Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself.What Can I Say is aimed at kids ages 10 and up, and it includes practical and accessible advice to help kids and teens learn social skills, including everything from introduce themselves, express empathy, be persuasive, and apologize to compromise, ask for help, be grateful, and comfort a friend.In this conversation, Catherine and talk about why learning social and interpersonal skills are more important than ever for our kids, despite the fact that their lives are evolving to include more time spent online. We also talk about the climate for social emotional learning and ways parents and educators can to reinforce the social skills our kids are learning. Catherine Newman is the author of the memoirs Catastrophic Happiness and Waiting for Birdy, the middle-grade novel One Mixed-Up Night, the kids’ craft book Stitch Camp, the how-to books for kids How to Be a Person and What Can I Say? and the novel We All Want Impossible Things (forthcoming, Harper, November 2022). She edits the non-profit kids’ cooking magazine ChopChop, writes the etiquette column for Real Simple magazine, and is a regular contributor to the New York Times, O, The Oprah Magazine, Parents magazine, Cup of Jo, and many other publications. She lives in Amherst, Massachusetts, with her family. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhy it’s still important to learn social skills and interpersonal skills even though our kids’ lives are evolving to include more time spent onlineWhy it’s important to spend time learning social skills just as we would learn any other type of skill like algebra or singingThe importance of learning interpersonal skills that focus on empathy, setting boundaries, being curious, and being supportive and inclusive of people with different identitiesHow OT can help neurodivergent kids grow up with advanced social emotional skillsWhat parents and educators can do to support and reinforce the social skills they are learning Resources mentioned for how kids can learn social skillsCatherine Newman’s websiteCatherine on InstagramWhat Can I Say? A Kids’ Guide to Super Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself by Catherine NewmanHow to Be a Person: 65 Hugely Useful, Super-Important Skills to Learn before You’re Grown Up by Catherine NewmanSupport the show
TPP 013a: Margaret Webb Shares Tools & Mindsets for Surviving Summer Break
Jun 10 2022
TPP 013a: Margaret Webb Shares Tools & Mindsets for Surviving Summer Break
Margaret Webb helps parents find more peace in parenting the child they didn’t expect when they were expecting, and part of her work is supporting parents survive summer break. Many parents (and not just parents raising differently-wired kids) limp across the finish line of a long school year only to find themselves facing the stress of summer — new schedules and routines, different expectations, wants, and needs for everyone in the family, and lots of other changes.In our conversation, Margaret shares her personal strategy for not only surviving summer break, but thriving. She walks us through her Summer Survival Skills Package, a free toolkit comprised of MP3s and worksheets designed to help struggling parents have a summer that works for the whole family.Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs. Things you’ll learn from this episodeHow “reality versus expectations” creates unnecessary stress for many parents over the summerWhy having “leadership energy” as a parent can help a family thriveThe importance of getting clear on both your personal needs as a parent and your child’s needs and wants for the summer breakWhat scheduling, mapping, and tracking have to do with surviving summer holidaysHow focusing on our own experience and fostering personal self-care actually supports our childrenWhy nature can be so restorative for parents raising differently-wired kidsHow to envision your ideal day as a way to begin creating a more peaceful reality Resources mentioned for surviving summer break Margaret Webb’s Summer Survival Skills Package — download linkThe Families That Can’t Afford Summer – New York Times articleFinding Peace in Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect – Tilt Parenting Podcast Episode 1​Support the show
TPP 292: Dr. Devon Price on His New Book, "Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity"
Jun 7 2022
TPP 292: Dr. Devon Price on His New Book, "Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity"
This week I'm talking about Dr. Devon Price, a social psychologist, professor, author, and proud autistic person, and the author of the new book, Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity.  In this conversation, Devon and I talk about what masking is, what it looks like, and whether it is something that autistic people choose to do or not. We also talk about why masking is more complex for people of color, the relationship between masking and gender, and what integration looks like for a neurodivergent person. Devon Price, PhD, is a social psychologist, professor, author, and proud Autistic person. He is the author of Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity. His research has appeared in journals such as the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, and the Journal of Positive Psychology. Devon’s writing has appeared in outlets such as the Financial Times, HuffPost, Slate, Jacobin, Business Insider, LitHub, and on PBS and NPR. He lives in Chicago, where he serves as an assistant professor at Loyola University Chicago’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhat “masking” is, what it looks like, and why most often it’s not a conscious choiceWhy the decision to mask or not mask is more complex for autistic people of colorDevon’s thoughts on the recent explosion of neurodivergent kids coming out as trans and the relationship between masking and genderDevon’s take on ABA therapy and alternatives ways of supporting autistic kidsConsiderations regarding language in the neurodivergent and disability communityWhat integration is and what it looks like for a neurodivergent personStrategies for ways parents can help their autistic children move through the world more authentically without maskingHow Devon see our society currently changing in neurodivergence awareness and inclusion Resources mentioned for Unmasking AutismDevon Price on MediumUnmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhDLaziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price, PhDDevon Price on InstagramDevon Price on TwitterWe’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric GarciaHow Unmasking Leads to Freedom for Autistic and Other Neurodivergent People (NPR Life Kit Interview)Autism in Black / Maria Davis PierreAutistics Against Curing AutismAutistic Self-Advocacy NetworkFidgets and Friends / Tiffany Hammond on InstagramQueer VengeanceSupport the show