Do you remember the last time someone hurt you, betrayed you, or you discovered something about them that made you realize they were not your friend, were not on your side, and that their actions were deliberate?
You may want to avenge your honor, make them pay, get revenge, show them how it feels to be treated that way, and get them to acknowledge your pain and then apologize for it.
You want retribution, a punishment that matches the damage and harm they caused you.
You want resolution, to fix the situation and move on, often with them not repeating their behavior.
You want restitution, for them to give you something to make up for what they did and for what you lost.
While you are fully justified in feeling this way and in wanting revenge so that your pain is boomeranged right back to its originator, it’s a waste of your time and energy and it won’t have the effect you want.
No matter how hard you try, how much effort you make, and how noble your efforts are or how well supported they are by the facts, you won’t have any effect on the person who caused your pain. Because they do not care about your pain or about causing you pain.
For two reasons, one because they want to cause you pain and second because your pain is their revenge against you.
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