Over the Fence

Over the Fence

The gap between expected life and reality can be massive join your hosts, Sarah and Vangeya as they share their experiences of navigating their very full lives that on the surface look like they would be worlds apart. But as you will soon discover their emotions and experiences in the realities they find themselves are often more similar than they would have expected from a cursory look over the fence.


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Health & FitnessHealth & Fitness

Episodes

Big Issues Deep Dive Part 2 - S04E05
Feb 26 2024
Big Issues Deep Dive Part 2 - S04E05
As promised, we are back with part two of the big issues deep dive with Sarah sharing some of her story from her side of the fence with regard to mental health stereotypes. As with last weeks episode the A+B=C formula was also an expectation for Sarah, get married have kids live happily ever after! Sarah shares candidly and with vulnerability as she speaks of the impact mental health stereotypes have had on her family life as her husband continues to battle PTSD and all of that comes with it.  As always we wanted to hold space for the conversation  but also to help with practical tips  for those wishing to be better equipped in their attempts to be of assistance:1. Drop the expectation that there will be a happy outcome2. Ask questions that create a space for open conversations and rather than an opportunity to give solutions3. Allow people to be where they are rather than trying to skip forward4. Grand gestures are good, but consistency is better5. Set at your store with regard to what support you can offer6. Just ask, don’t assume you know how best to help.Resources:1. Best Friend Therapy: Ep1 boundaries, what are they? - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mIiYg04LDshddZJ4LmC9V?si=pb9piMCSTSCe_jW4tqfBTg2. Jay Shetty: killing ego: https://www.jayshetty.me/blog/jay-shetty-on-3-strategies-people-use-to-overcome-their-egoOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson
Reviewing the Situation - S04E03
Feb 12 2024
Reviewing the Situation - S04E03
The conversation from last week was so good we came back with a part two and in today’s episode we look at how to ‘friend through’ the hibernation seasons.This conversation is peppered with wisdom from those far wiser than ourselves and as always we list everything below. For this discussion in particular we would encourage you to have a look and listen through because it bud tough to navigate either side of this particular fence. Whether you are the friend struggling or the friend struggling to be let in to try and help.Wherever you are with your friendship we hope this two parter has been useful in helping you process and as always it us our greatest hope j that you have felt seen and a little less alone on your journey. Resources 1. New York Times article: How many friends do you really need? Catherine Pearson: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/07/well/live/adult-friendships-number.html2. Earlier Over the Fence episode referred to: ‘ A tricky decade’: https://open.spotify.com/episode/41N9S72WiyAb3gKCNxV7sq?si=2w-oVJLgSJ2CW7_21jd0vQ3. On introversion: a)how introverts can be socially conditioned to appear as extroverts- Best Friend Therapy s1 ep1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3mIiYg04LDshddZJ4LmC9V?si=yaYoPlTaTUKJkJcSkcQVaA b) Simon Sinek explains the difference between extroverts and introverts: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kXLVcGPlep44. David Richo: How to be an adult in relationships ( the 5 As of friendship)5. Adam Grant: @adamgrant - alignment not necessarily agreement 6. Simon Sinek: what we need in crisis: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/VAXBrlIo5MgOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson
Resolutions vs Reflections S04E01
Jan 30 2024
Resolutions vs Reflections S04E01
Happy 2024!!This episode and indeed the new season kicks off with a massive dose of nostalgia about life in the 1900s, and the fear surrounding the Y2K bug! As ever your hosts have a right laugh, but we also get serious speaking candidly about New Year’s resolutions and whether or not that useful! Sarah and Vangeya share  their thoughts and where they have landed with them. In particular in relation to how they interact with that prized concept of radical self acceptance. Are Resolutions a weapon that is self-destructive or a tool was to achieve and better yourself?  Ultimately are ‘reflections and hopes’ for the coming year more useful? Speaking of reflections, the second half of the episode is a bit of a recap of season three as the hosts of share their best bits and what they took away from each of their wonderful guests before introducing the concept and hope for season 4. Entitled “the big issues” the season builds on the foundation of openness and authenticity all the guests brought in season three  and explores some of the sometimes thorny issues that life brings as we let go of the expectations and navigate the reality we face.Resource 1. Brene Brown on midlife: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/w20VDWG7UgE2. Tracey Duncan: Leaving it all on the track- S3 EP06 over the fence: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0A0woVsor0B0DRKanUnytd?si=R8Lz_IupR0K7K_PO1p2d1QOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson
We Leave You With This For Now - S02E06
Aug 8 2023
We Leave You With This For Now - S02E06
Friends! We Have come to the end of another season. How has it gone by so quickly? (Panic you not! We are already planning for season 3!)We have thoroughly enjoyed coming over the fence with you as we have looked at self-care. Our hope is that it is a less puzzling  and less daunting concept as we have talked about it and learned from each other. It is our greatest hope that your journey will continue and self care will cease to be a tick box exercised  but that the incremental small but crucial changes will mean that you are looking after yourselves that bit better and enabling yourselves to show up in all the spheres of your life, much more resilient and supported.In this episode, seeing as it is the season finale, Sarah and Vangeya thought it would be a good idea to have a bit of a self-care check in.  To explore the areas where we still struggle, the wins that they have collected over the season, as well as the big takeaways. So we leave you with the biggest takeaway and what has been dubbed our manifesto: self care ( and life really) is all about self compassion. Figure out who you are and what works for you, and implement it, as often as you need to and remember- practice makes better!We look forward to continuing the journey with you in season three, but until then  Keep looking after yourselves and keep in touch:Insta / Tiktok / Facebook: @overthefencepodFacebook secret group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/602065328690779/Resources:1. Self care as a weapon by Whitney Goodman : https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/healing-together/201907/when-self-care-becomes-weapon?amp2. Part of the series on how stress affects health Elizabeth Scott: https://www.verywellmind.com/self-care-strategies-overall-stress-reduction-31447293. Brene Browne:  Atlas of the HeartOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson
Our Manifesto is Born- S02E04
Jul 25 2023
Our Manifesto is Born- S02E04
Our manifesto is bornThe episode kicks off with a spectacular Segway, a throwaway comment by Sarah that very much fits with the theme of internal rhetoric gets Vangeya very excited.   The episide is all about this internal monologue or story that we have on repeat running around in the background.  Like a master computer programme it affects everything from our decision making to how we feel about ourselves. But if it’s in our hardware, how do we recognise it?  More importantly can we change it?  From neuroscience to our own experience we look at how to manage these insidious thoughts. As always expect nothing but real raw vulnerability as Sarah and Vangeya describe some of the rhetoric they are working at changing and what seems to be working:1. Recognising when you are out of control 2. Learning when not to act, enter the urge surfing 3. Don’t rush your process4. Know what you need (the aforementioned manifesto)Resources1. Link to laboratory of neuro imaging - quote about 70,000 thoughts2. Rachelle Indra (@coachrachelleindra) Lucky girl syndrome explained with neuroscience 3. Prentice Emphill on boundaries: https://byrepose.com/journal/2022/1/18/setting-boundaries-what-does-that-really-mean#:~:text=Clear%20boundaries%20are%20defined%20beautifully,prerequisite%20for%20connection%20with%20others.4. Links to 47.2 episode and bonus episodeOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson
Real Self Care Doesn't Start with a Bubble Bath! S02 E03
Jul 18 2023
Real Self Care Doesn't Start with a Bubble Bath! S02 E03
Real self care doesn’t start with a bubble bath!!Calling all recovering people pleasers! in this weeks episode we look at authentic self care, what it really requires and some practical things to implement.  For all you self-confessed recovering people pleaser who find themselves overburdened and trying desperately to detach from the guilt and internal struggle that hits when you find the courage to say “no” - we hear you and this week’s episode is for you. Sarah snd Vangeya delve into the very real reality of having to constantly rebuild the fences around boundaries set time and time again, looking at how best to ensure that you can be who you are who, whilst being joyful, enabled to thrive and flourish so that you can show up as your best self you and therefore be able give to the measure that you are able. We are sure there are lots more helpful hints to achieve  this but during our conversation we landed on these as a start:1. Know yourself 2. Taking the fear away3. Fence building- reinforcing the boundaries  not just with others but ourselves too4. Honest conversation 5. Allow for forgiveness/ compassion6. Stop the joy robbers 7. Give to the measure you can not to the expectation Resources 1. Kobe Campbell on boundaries starting with identifying your needs and the environments in which those needs can be met: on ‘In the light’ https://open.spotify.com/episode/1go2k01znDikD1RtvxdgXL?si=9YjFKWllQ0SV7f-au_UK5Q2. Extrovert/introvert explained: Simon Sinek https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ozSjZ6iRKSAOver the Fence is a podcast written and presented by Vangeya Mhone and Sarah ParkinsonMusic: https://www.purple-planet.comEditing and Post-Production: Chris Parkinson