What questions should you consider if you’re thinking of opening up your relationship? What issues do couples commonly face when considering polyamory? What is brainspotting? What should solo polyamorous folks consider when dating couples? Which dating sites are best for open relationships? We’re joined by marriage and family therapist Joy Berkheimer who weighs in on these questions and shares her personal experience with swinging and polyamory. Joy is a radical force for self-expression that helps women cultivate self-love, and empowers them to fully embody their sexuality so that they may become their best authentic and liberated selves. To learn more about Joy, follow her on her Instagram or on the Joy Berkheimer website. Get 15% off with Code DRJESS15 on Lovehoney.com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. speaker: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half who's dancing, Dr. Jess. I was really in the mood for this today. You're grooving today. I heard a little scobbyed in the background. It makes me happy. That's your jam. Mm-hmm. Literally, that's your jam. And today, I've been up all morning talking about relationship deal breakers. Do you have any relationship deal breakers? Oh, I have a whole list. I have one that immediately comes to mind. What's that? Smoking. Cigarettes. Cigarette smoking. I'd have a hard time with that. Other substances are acceptable. other substances totally fine. Because you like the smell of other ones, but you don't like the smell of cigarettes. Yes. Yeah. You know, I had, I grew up with one parent who smoked on and off. And I remember that you just turned to them at some point and you're like, listen, I love you and that's going to kill you and I need you to stop. And they did. Yeah, I think I said that to somebody who wants to. They were very disciplined, though. My parents who smoked, like they would smoke in certain places and not in others. They never smoked in the house and they would smoke in certain social situations, but then quit in between for like a year. But I got it. that that's a deal. But I mean, if you were to start, I wouldn't really understand, especially why you'd start at this age. What if I started smoking cigars? Well, I mean, how often would you smoke them? This conversation is getting very detailed. Well, I'm just thinking that a lot of people smoke cigars once in a while. And so I wouldn't always have to be around it. I don't know. I don't know, I really like the smell of a pipe. I was just gonna say, I love the smell of a pipe. My grandfather smoked a pipe and I was like, man, that smells good. Yeah, it's sweet, sweet, but I think it still causes harm. Yeah, I think so. So we were talking this morning about the top relationship dealbreakers and they categorize them into six categories But what comes out on top for all types of relationships is Grossness okay, that's a very vague topic. So do you want to give me some details? Like what was what was gross? So another study found that it's basically if somebody has it disheveled or unclean appearance and then down the list There's lazy too needy lacks of sense of humor lacks of sense of humor. I know all about that one Here's one Have you ever You've seen me first thing in the morning? Speaking of disheveled, the first one? I know,

How do you manage sexual incompatibility? What do you do when one of you wants sex all the time and the other has trouble getting in the mood? And how do you get yourself in the mood to be a "giver" when it doesn't come naturally? Sex therapist Dr. Donna Oriowo joins us to answer your questions about sex and relationships. Dr. Donna Oriowo (oreo-whoa!) LICSW, CST, is an award-winning DEI advocate, international speaker and certified sex and relationship therapist in the Washington D.C. metro area. Dr. Donna is the owner of private practice, AnnodRight, which specializes in working with Black women on issues related to colorism and texturism and its impacts on mental and sexual health. Dr. Donna specializes in working with Black women to feel Free, Fabulous, and F*cked! She is the author of Cocoa Butter & Hair Grease: A Self Love Journey Through Hair and Skin and the host of a weekly community space for Black women called In My Black Feelings. Dr. Donna collects inspiring quotes, eats donuts, loves pasta, travels to learn, and gives COVID-safe handshakes, warm hugs, and (figurative) knocks on the head. Dr. Oriowo served as DEI Co-chair and Communications Steering Committee Chair for AASECT. She is a member of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN). She can be found on social media @Dr.DonnaOriowo (Instagram and Twitter). OR you can visit her on the interwebs at DonnaOriowo.com OR interact with her by joining the Free, Fabulous, & F*cked Community on Facebook. Be sure to check out Dr. Oriowo's 5-Day Pleasure Challenge Get 15% off with Code DRJESS15 on Lovehoney.com. Save 25% with code PODCAST at Happier Couples.com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Help! We're not sexually compatible Speaker 2 00:00:05 You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use Tonight. Speaker 0 00:00:14 Welcome Speaker 3 00:00:14 To the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Speaker 1 00:00:20 Hello from Washington DC Speaker 3 00:00:23 Is there a more enthusiastic way to say that? Speaker 1 00:00:25 Good morning, Washington DC Good morning. This is our second stop here in the last couple of weeks. Yeah, Speaker 3 00:00:31 It Speaker 1 00:00:31 Is. We are here for the Sexology Summit in inaugural conference hosted by the folks from Sexpert Consultants and they're doing a great job. It's, it's so nice to be back with colleagues and surrounded by non civilian sex people. Speaker 3 00:00:46 Yeah, I mean, I'm having a great time. I haven't been to a lot of sex conferences. I've been to Sex down South. I've been here. I'm trying to think where else I've been. And definitely meeting people that I've met online and through the podcast. And it's interesting because now I'm actually seeing them, but I feel like I already know them. Like we met Courtney, we saw Courtney Bra the other day. Hang Speaker 1 00:01:05 On though. Courtney Bra is a lot taller than I expected. Yes. He, he's a tall man. Speaker 3 00:01:09 He's, he's a muscular, tall gentleman Speaker 1 00:01:11 In a soft cashmere sweater. My favorite convo, my favorite I you wear He's cashmere. He's a really nice guy. If you let me, I'm gonna touch you. , like, people should really be wearing cashmere pants. . If you want a butt rub, say for, Speaker 3 00:01:24 For the holidays, I, I get cashmere underwear. It's a win-win for everybody.

Do you have trouble expressing your desires in bed? Are you nervous - to open up about your fantasies? Do you have difficulty tapping into sexual turn-ons? Perhaps the constraints of gender (and the associated shame) are holding you back from experiencing deeper pleasure. Fret not. Dr. Candice Nicole joins Jess & Brandon to help you shed gender shame and bend gender all in the name of hotter sex. Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons is an award-winning associate professor of counselling psychology at the University of Kentucky, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. She is the host; of F*ck the System: A Sexual Liberation Podcast and How to Love a Human, a liberation podcast that asks people with multiple marginalized identities what the world would be like if it loved them. Save 25% with code PODCAST at Happier Couples.com. (See courses below.) If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Can Gender-Bending Improve Sex? Speaker 2 00:00:05 You're listening to The Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use Tonight. Speaker 3 00:00:14 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Speaker 1 00:00:20 Jess. And we're back because we skipped last week. Speaker 3 00:00:22 We did. How do you feel Speaker 1 00:00:24 About that? Not gonna talk about, not gonna talk about it. Honestly, that's the first podcast we've missed in all the years doing this podcast. Speaker 3 00:00:31 All the years. A lot of years. Speaker 1 00:00:32 Many a year. But we're, we're back. And I'm happy to be back and super excited for today's topic because we're talking about gender and sex. And we're going to be joined by Dr. Candace Nicole, who is an award-winning associate professor of counseling, psychology, a sexologist. They work at the University of Kentucky where she studies sexual wellness and liberation and she hosts multiple podcasts herself. She's published over 50 research articles. You probably have seen her in Cosmo, the New York Times, and the like. And she's here to help us break down how considering the possibility of redefining gender can lead to happier relationships and hotter sex. Thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Candace. How you doing today? Speaker 4 00:01:12 I'm doing wonderful, Dr. Jess. It's so good to be here with you. Speaker 1 00:01:15 And tell us, what are you working on these days, Speaker 4 00:01:18 Girl? Trying to get this book proposal accepted by an agent. So that is the word. Speaker 1 00:01:24 Can you tell us anything about the book? Can you tease a little, Speaker 4 00:01:27 Okay, here's a little teaser. So it's going to be about sexual liberation and how these systems of oppression try to fuck it up Speaker 1 00:01:36 And why sex, why? I mean, they're attacking everything, but why sex in particular? Like what? What is it about sex that lets systems exert greater control? Speaker 4 00:01:45 I don't, I don't even know if it's greater control. I just think it's an area where we have an exam, how capitalism and racism and sexism and heterosexism and elitism and all that stuff gets in the way of good sex. Speaker 1 00:01:57 Yeah. And when you say all of those things, I think about performance and I think about pressure and I think about roles, which is really why you're here today. Yes. To help us break down gender roles. And I think when people think about gender inequality,

How much can you ask a partner to change? And how do you know if non-monogamy is the right choice for you? Jess and Brandon discuss these listener questions and share their (imperfect) perspectives in this quickie episode. Save 25% with code PODCAST for the Mind Blowing Oral: Clit and the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis course on the Happier Couples website. . If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Quickie Q&A: Should you change for a partner & how do you know if non-monogamy is right for you? Speaker 1 00:00:05 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use tonight. Speaker 2 00:00:15 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half. Dr. Jess, Speaker 3 00:00:21 Are you ready for a quickie? Speaker 2 00:00:22 I'm always ready for a quickie. Are Speaker 3 00:00:24 You though? Speaker 2 00:00:25 Yeah, I'm usually ready for a quickie. Speaker 3 00:00:27 is all, all we really do is quickies. not in the podcast, but I feel like we've been squishing sex into smaller Look at your face. Sorry. I'm like, I'm, I'm getting tripped up from my words, but I'm gonna keep going. I feel like we've been squishing it into tiny little, what do they call it? Time blocks. Speaker 2 00:00:44 time. We're time blocking. We're the Harvard Review. We're time boxing. Speaker 3 00:00:47 Time boxing our sex lab, but we're getting it in. Speaker 2 00:00:50 We're smooshing booties and time boxing. Speaker 3 00:00:52 Bumping uglies. Speaker 2 00:00:52 Bumping uglies. I Speaker 3 00:00:53 Don't like that cuz I think they're very pretty. Speaker 2 00:00:55 I like it. Speaker 3 00:00:56 We're actually in a hotel right now with, uh, curtains where the, the decor. They really look like Volvos. Speaker 2 00:01:02 Yes, they do. You brought that up the other night and I didn't realize it. And you're spot Speaker 3 00:01:06 On. I think it's supposed to be something from the sea, but they really remind me of Volvos. Anyhow, we're doing a quickie because I am off to Dubai for another couple's retreat. I feel so good to be working and meeting people and I'm just, I don't know. I'm having the absolute best time, but have a long couple of flights today. So we have two questions for you and one is about getting your partner to change and the other is about non-monogamy. So big topics, but we're gonna try and be fairly succinct so that I don't miss my flight. Speaker 2 00:01:34 Sounds good. All right. Speaker 3 00:01:35 What's the first, so the first they're asking how to differentiate between getting your partner to stop doing something that bothers you versus trying to change them. So they say we're told to accept our partners just as they are, but also to speak up if something they're doing makes us unhappy. So where's the balance? Speaker 2 00:01:52 I mean, this totally resonates not with, not so much with me, but just the question is kinda like, at what point are you crossing that line? Right. Speaker 3 00:01:59 Um, you don't ask me to change much. Speaker 2 00:02:01 No. Again, I think we're constantly having conversations about things. I think I feel like you ask me to change things, more things, would that be wrong? I think I'd agree. But it's you, I think I agree with that, but I don't feel like you're trying to change me as a human being, like as a person. Speaker 3 00:02:16 It's trying to make you better. No,

We are riding a high after appearing on The TODAY Show this morning! Hoda and Jenna were the warmest hosts and in this week's episode we dig a little deeper into one of their viewer questions about housework and how to stop keeping score. Tune in for 6 specific strategies you can use to reduce tension, conflict and stave off resentment in the long-run. Don't forget you can save 25% off all of our video courses at HappierCouples.com with code PODCAST. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! You can watch the interview on Today With Hoda and Jenna here. See below for a rough summary of the podcast: Earlier today we were on The Today Show thanks to Kieran, producer extraordinaire, who has a new segment series called Relationships Dilemmas. My partner and I are constantly keeping score over who's doing more at home -- between the dishes, cooking dinner, taking out the trash. So my question is, what's the best way to delegate or balance routine chores at home? Keep score but play for the same team. Focus on all the things your partner does. Make a list of everything that needs to be done - break it down into small parts. Really break it down. And let yourselves add to it as things come up. Then run through the chores like a draft taking turns opting into specific tasks. I’d suggest you do this monthly as opposed to making it a one time thing because the list will change, your schedules will change and it’s good to switch things up. The point is to look at the tasks as a team as opposed to tracking who does what. Get to the underlying issues. If making a list and going through it feels triggering, if it hits a sore spot, if you’re resistant, if you get defensive, consider whether or not chores are the issue or if it’s a relational, emotional or attachment need that’s not being met. Is it really about dirty dishes or is it about feeling unheard? Is it about laundry or is it about resentment for the fact that you gave something up to support your partner’s career?It’s easy to place blame on the superficial issues like chores as opposed to examine the root issues.I see this often. You argue about something rather innocuous like the way they put the food in the fridge, but really you’re annoyed that they don’t put effort into the relationship. Don’t expect it to be 50/50. That’s not the way life works and if you’re obsessed with making sure your partner does as much as you, ask yourself why. Your lives are different. Your skills sets are different. There are going to points in the relationship when you do more domestic labour. And there will be times when your partner does more. Examine gender roles and other identity layers that may be contributing to engrained biases. Did your mom do all the cooking and you now expect your wife to do the same? Was your dad handy and you now have the unrealistic expectation that your boyfriend should take care of repairs? Express gratitude profusely. It’s so easy to take all the little things for granted. And even if you do appreciate all the things your partner does. The gratitude gap refers to the distance between feeling grateful and actually expressing it. Lower your expectations. Just because you want things done a certain way to a certain standard doesn’t mean your partner affords the same value to the same tasks. Maybe you’re angry or annoyed that they don’t clean as thoroughly as you. And maybe that’s a legitimate concern. But maybe you’re being unrealistic. Maybe they do a perfectly decent job and you take comfort in laying criticism because of past issues. Maybe it gives you a sense of control. Or meaning. This happens with kids. One parents has expectations that the other finds unrealistic in terms of how involved you should be in your kids lives, how much you should influence (or in some cases control) them and this leads to arguments that are seemingly about childrearing but they...

Jess & Brandon weigh in on why they don't love V-Day and answer questions from listeners; who wants to have a happier Valentine's -- free from pressure. They weigh in on what to do if your partner refuses to celebrate and offer; some alternative ways to celebrate beyond chocolates and roses. We hope you don't use this as an excuse to avoid celebrating. Instead, we hope it inspires deeper conversations about the meaning we attach to holidays, celebrations and expressions of love. Regardless of whether or not you celebrate, if you're into luxurious lingerie, Lunatic Femme is still running their contest to win this gorgeous eco-silk kimono with removable sleeves (because all of their pieces are designed - to layer, morph, mix & match), and you can enter to win in two simple steps: 1. Subscribe to the Lunatic Femme newsletter HERE 2. Follow them on IG HERE   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by luxury lingerie (@lunatic_femme) If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Why We Don't Celebrate Valentine's Day Intro 00:00:05 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and Relationship Advice you can use Tonight. Speaker 3 00:00:16 Welcome To the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Weir, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Speaker 1 00:00:21 Happy freaking V-day . We're almost there. Speaker 3 00:00:24 We're, is that it? Are you looking at it like something you need to overcome? Speaker 1 00:00:28 No, no, no. like, we've almost made it Valentine's. This is the biggest time of the year in my field. Speaker 3 00:00:34 It sure is. There's photos of Dons everywhere, Speaker 1 00:00:38 , Speaker 3 00:00:38 Sex dogs, Speaker 1 00:00:39 Sex dogs and all sorts of things. Right? All the brands, all the labels. Every possible industry is now into Valentine's Day. Speaker 3 00:00:48 Yeah, I mean the, in like companies that I wouldn't have thought would've touched the sex toy industry are all about it. Speaker 1 00:00:55 Well, and not just sex toy industry, but Valentine's altogether. You should see some of the, oh yeah, the pitches. I'm getting like the reaches to make some random product about Valentine's Day. So it's, it's a commercialized holiday. Commercialized holiday. But we are gonna talk about it because we don't celebrate Valentine's. And you may celebrate Valentine's, but I hope you'll hear our perspective. And I really want to reinforce all perspectives on this cuz there's no right, there's no wrong, there's no judgment around, ah, it's a Hallmark holiday. So what all holidays are made up, I Speaker 3 00:01:24 Was just gonna say, a lot of holidays are Hallmark holidays. Speaker 1 00:01:26 It doesn't matter. And they're all made up, right? So many holidays are commercialized and so much of what we do is, so I'm not gonna sit here in criticism of that, but we are gonna talk about the fact that we don't celebrate Valentine's. But because it's February 9th, if you're listening today, you have a few more days to go check out the lunatic fem contest. This is to me, just my favorite contest. I think it's gonna be my favorite contest of 2023 because the quality of their goods is just on another level. And the contest over on lunatic fems Instagram, they're giving away a custom silk kimono. So this is a small batch, super high investment item that you're gonna keep forever silky, smooth,

Intimacy is about so much more than sex. It can be emotional, relational, practical, physical, spiritual and so much more. This week, Jess and Brandon share prompts to help cultivate emotional connection as they work their way through the Intimacy Interview. And just in time for V-Day, we have a luxurious giveaway from Lunatic Femme, a luxurious lingerie brand that uses the finest materials for their small-batch collection. They're offering up a gorgeous eco-silk kimono with removable sleeves (because all of their pieces are designed to layer, morph, mix & match) and you can enter to win in two simple steps: 1. Subscribe to the Lunatic Femme newsletter HERE 2. Follow them on IG HERE   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by luxury lingerie (@lunatic_femme) If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Emotional Intimacy Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Ready to talk how to build emotional intimacy to see? I am ready to talk about that. Okay. What does intimacy mean to you? Intimacy is closeness. It's connection, but it's deeper than, like, friendship level connection. You don't think you can have intimacy with a friend? Okay, I take it back. Take a foot out of my mouth. I guess it was meant to be rhetorical. I guess I think intimacy, I think more sexual, and that's kind of where I was going with that. But yes. No, you can definitely have intimate relationships with friends. Okay. And I don't think you're alone in thinking about intimacy and sexuality or sexual pleasure or sexual intimacy as one thing, but I think it's more than that, and we're going to get into that. You don't have to agree, of course. Language is language. Like, define it however you want. But before we do, I'm really excited. I have a contest that I think you should stop what you're doing and go enter it now. So I'm thrilled to announce this partnership with it's a small batch lingerie brand that's really I don't know. It's a mindful brand that's totally different than anything I've ever seen. It's called lunatic femme. And when I first came across them, I read their tagline, you're not one thing. Your lingerie shouldn't be either. And when I read that, I was like, oh, that really resonates. You're not just one thing. But then I saw their lingerie, and it is wow, it's so beautiful. It's luxurious, and it's just a really cool brand. So it's layerable, it's changeable, it's strip offable. And most importantly, to me, it's exposable because it's definitely 100% doubles as fashion wear it under a blazer or without a blazer that would be hot. And you can mix and match and detach all the different pieces to create all these different looks and feels and moods. For example, they've got this balcony bra that you can wear, I think, six different ways. They've got bodysuits that have different removable harnesses. They have this sexy waist sensor that also turns into a choker or a corset. And the materials are just really, really luxurious. Something called levers lace and organic eco silk. And the metal wear is custom made. They even have some that are 24 karat gold plated in the details. So luna tick femme. But I'm not just sending you to shop there, although you're going to want to.

Take a few minutes to slow down and reconnect with this simple exercise designed for emotional connection, physical intimacy and mindfulness. It's not a magic pill, but just two minutes may be worth a shot. Jess & Brandon give it a whirl and share their honest reactions. If you're looking for the Lovehoney sale products (use code DRJESS15 to save an extra 15%), here they are: Hitachi Magic Wand  - 'Most amazing orgasm I’ve seen her have in 10 years!' 'Be free from cords, without sacrificing power!' 'I truly believe it's strong enough to make nearly anyone come.' Forget hand massages. You can shake your whole house from its very foundations with the jaw-rattling vibes of this extra-powerful wand. Your cordless Magic Wand harnesses AC power from the wall before firing it out in 8 vibration styles. Brace yourself. Soft silicone creates a smooth surface for transmitting the vibrations, with 4 speeds and 4 patterns operated with ease via the 3-button controls. Lovehoney Juno - Make love to the beat with the Juno music-activated panty vibrator. Designed to slip into your pants, this cute little vibe tantalizes your clitoris by buzzing along to your favorite tunes. Choose something with plenty of base and get ready to party. Harnessing the power of synch technology, the removable bullet vibe buzzes to the beat of your music. Simply place the remote next to a music source, turn up the volume and let your tunes take control of your pleasure. Each set includes the ingenious remote control, a bullet vibrator and a silicone sleeve jacket. The remote works from up to 8 meters away from the bullet vibrator. Please note: The bullet vibrator is for external use only. Lovehoney X We-Vibe Nova 2 We-Vibe's Nova Rabbit Vibrator is back and better than ever. Still boasting app controls and a sensational arced, clitoris-kissing arm that stays in contact while you thrust, the Nova 2 also boasts a posable internal arm for top-tier G-spot stimulation. Sculpted from smooth, seamless silicone with a bulbed end for G-spot pleasure, this sleek toy is as ergonomic as they come. Its whisper-quiet vibrations are ideal during late-night bedroom bliss-outs, and the waterproof body turns your bathroom into a playground. Use the buttons on the toy to explore its default vibration modes, or switch on to the free We-Vibe app to create your own personal pleasure patterns. Plus, with the app you can share control with a partner and play together with multiple toys, no matter how physically near or far apart you may be. Music provided by Lesfm from Pixabay If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Reset Your Relationship In 2 Minutes Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half of Dr. Jess. I am here and I am ready for what we're about out to get up to. This is the two minute reset, and I need it, so I need it badly. You really made it sound like we were going to do something else there. Oh, we could do that for two minutes as well, but then what would we do with the other 90 seconds? Weren't weren't worn? Brendan Lakes. Any excuse to make a sound effect. So we're going to be talking about a really simple and hopefully useful two minute relationship reset. We're going to do it. We're not going to make you listen to our two minutes because it'll just be Brandon doing this.

It's time to debunk the myth of the "dead vagina syndrome" and overcome hangups about vibrators - so that; we can all enjoy more pleasure! If you're looking for Jess' product picks from the Lovehoney sale, check out: Womanizer Starlet 2 Lovehoney Rose WeVibe X Lovehoney Nova 2 Lovehoney’s wide selection of kink & fetish gear. Use code DRJESS15 to save at checkout. And if you're interested in the Oasis Aqualounge event in Toronto, you can learn more here. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!   Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. 7 Minutes of Sex: Desensitization? Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. We are three weeks in to 2023, and I'm seeing all these Instagram posts about the word of the year. So 2023. What's your word? It's an expletive to where I'm at so far. It's anal. Not that anal is an expletive, but fisting. It's my word of the year. I like it. I'm seeing ones, like, perform, take action. I think if I had to pick one, I need calm. Calm. That's what I need right now. Great. What? Relaxation. That's not happening. No. What are we we're about 20 days in right now, and it's the farthest thing from that. So if I could pick a word for 2023 and as the kids say, manifest, I'm picking calm. But we we've had a we've had a crazy week, a wild week, but we have big news, and I don't I think we've maybe alluded to it, but we've never actually talked about it. But B and I got our Spanish EU residency this week. Hola migos. I'm learning Spanish, and it's not going well. It's actually really funny. Brandon's using some sort of an app to learn Spanish. What's the app called? I need a code here. No. It's Pimsler and duolingo. Okay. And my neighbor yeah, not the app, my neighbor. We have a neighbor named Carlos who's helping Brendan to learn Spanish. Yeah, he's awesome. He's incredibly patient, thankfully. But the app, I just see Brendan kind of walking up and down either the street or the beach or wherever we are, and he's just talking to himself on this app. Yeah. People think that there's something wrong with me as I speak random sentences and words and repeat them multiple times. Los gatos. How many times you have to learn about the cat drinking? The cat's drinking? Many times. Anyhow, really good news? We're super excited. We're here in Barcelona, where we have been since last year, actually. Half time Barcelona halftime. Toronto. Splitting our time just because so much of my work is over on this side of the world. So it makes it so much easier for me and for some of my clients and some of my events. But I'm loving it here. It's sunny out. It's a lot warmer than Toronto. The food is amazing. The wine is amazing. Got a vibe. That's what it is. It's got a great vibe. Do you mean the fact that there's a parade down our street pretty much every other weekend? Always a celebration here. Spanish people love to celebrate, and I love it. I love the desire to celebrate life. Or Tuesday mornings or another public holiday. Yes, there are a lot of public holidays, it would seem. Anyhow, that's some good news on our end for 2023, and it actually happened last year, but we finally got our official documentation just a couple of days ago. Today we're going to be talking about something called dead Vagina syndrome,

What’s the difference between a fetish and a kink? How common are kinks and fetishes? What are the most common fetishes? How do I move when thrusting during sex? What are some household objects that I can use as kinky pervertibles? Jess and Brandon weigh in on your kinky questions in this quickie episode. And check out Lovehoney’s wide selection of kink & fetish gear. Use code DRJESS10 to save at checkout. Save 25% with code PODCAST for the Mind Blowing Oral course (Clit and Penis Edition) on the Happier Couples website. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Kinks, Fetishes & Pervertibles Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. 2023. I am finally getting used to writing writing it because I kept typing 2022, even in Contracts. Yeah, I usually do that for the first few weeks of the year and then catch on. I'm liking this year already. Well, that's great. Yes. And we have a quickie for folks today, real quickie on kinks versus fetishes, because we've got a super limited amount of time, and we just got off three flights, one of which was a very, very long overnight flight because we have some work overseas. Yeah, that was a bit of a milk run, but glad to be where we are. Yeah, it was an accident. But we did get to stop for a really good club sandwich. Always about a good club sandwich. Actually, there were two really good stops. We also had a really nice meal in one of the airports that never really happens. Oh, yeah, that's right. We had a stop in Toronto. It feels like a million years ago. But yeah, if you're lucky enough to fly through the Signature Suite in Toronto, their food's always been good. It's from Chef Hawksworth, who's a Canadian chef who has restaurants on the west coast. But the food's gotten even better. Yeah, well, I mean, you loved it. You were happy. I was just pleased not to be sitting on the ground working for an hour. I live for food. I live for food. All right, so we're talking kinks versus fetishes, and this person wants to know something fairly straightforward, which is perfect, because we've got this quicky amount of time. They've asked, what is the difference between a kink and a fetish? How common are they? What are the most common fetishes? And they say, I think I may have a few fetishes. So, Brendan, do you know the difference between a kink and a fetish? I do not. Okay. I'm just straight out, I mean no. Do you think you're kinky? Yeah, I think I'm a little kinky. You're a little kinky. You're not, like, dress up kinky. I don't think you're identity or community kinky. Like, you're not at the dungeons, you're not at the parties. But I could. You could. I took you to one once and they sort of tore you to shreds. Do you remember that? You know, I don't, but I feel like you should tell me that. It was the one that was up high in that apartment for a specific celebration. They did. I recall now because you were in a suit. I was in a suit. I definitely was the one that was singled out as someone who hadn't partaken in some of the activities before. One of these things just doesn't belong to be fair, it was a wedding it was a collar. And so you showed up in a suit. Yep, I did. I wore a very kinky I wore a kinky dress. Anyhow okay, so kinks versus fetishes.

Why am I only attracted to "toxic" partners? How can I heal & move on from old wounds? What do I do when I love my partner, but I'm no longer "in love"? How do you define love? How do I deal with a partner who blames everyone else for their problems? Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Solomon joins Jess & Brandon to answer your relationship questions. She explains why we sometimes avoid healthy relationships and; why we might; be drawn to harmful ones. And she also provides a nuanced look at how learning and healing from old wounds can help us to change the future -- without dwelling on the past. Finally, they discuss how couples can deal with the challenge of loving one another while no longer being "in love". Follow Dr. Alexandra Solomon's work: Reimagining Love Podcast Alexandra's Website Instagram Thank you to Lovehoney for their support of this podcast! Save on toys, lingerie, and much more at Lovehoney.com with code DRJESS15   And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Help! I'm only attracted to the "wrong type" & what to do when I'm no longer "in love" Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Happy New Year. Happy New Year 2023. This is going to be a good one. And I'm excited for our conversation today because we're going to talk about being in love versus loving someone. We're going to talk about the paradox of healing. I'm hoping to talk about attraction to people that you don't want to be attracted to and lack of attraction to the people you do want to attracted to, be attracted to. With Dr. Alexandra Solomon, who is a psychologist, she's got a huge following on Instagram. She got her own podcast. I'm super excited for that. Before she joins us, big shout out to our sponsor launching us into 2023. My friends at Love Honey and I have been working with Love Honey for a long, long, long time. Long, long, long, long time. And you can check out all of their goodies. They have a whole bunch of New Year's sales. And I've got an extra discount code. Dr. Jess Ten for Lovehoney.com. Lovehoney CA all the different Love Honey sites. So if you're looking for lingerie, if you're looking for latexware, if you're looking for all the good vibes to start the year with good vibes, love Honey.com code Dr. Jess Ten to say. All right, without further ado, we are going to get into this. Joining us now is Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, a psychologist and author, the host of her own podcast, Reimagining Love, that covers everything relationship related, from your background in therapy to academic approaches to pop culture, representations of relationships and how that affects how we relate in real life, basically all the practical aspects of relating. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. This is such a treat to get to spend some time with you. Yes. And a great way to start 2023, because you're brilliant. You have you have a couple of books. You have not only the podcast Reimagining Love You Have Taking Sexy Back How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want. Best Selling Award winning book. And you have another book. Loving bravely 20 Lessons of Self Discovery to help you get the love you want. And you have a big following on Instagram and everyone needs to go check out Dr. Alexandra Solomon on IG.

Let's start 2023 on the right foot with some easy strategies for happier, more fulfilling relationships of - all kinds. Jess and Brandon share; 7 simple resolutions ranging from the sexual to the practical. Thank you to Lovehoney for their support of this podcast! Save on toys, lingerie, and much more at Lovehoney.com with code DRJESS10 And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Revolutionize Relationships In 2023 Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Last one of 2022. Wow. 2022. Done. There you go. Oh, how was your year? It was good. Are you surprised that I said good? I know Brandon's response to everything is good. Like, we had the most delicious meal last night. Our friend took us for wow. Yeah, that was great. That was really okay. The wagyu it was great. Okay. That's an extreme response for Brandon, but every time we cook something delicious, he's like, yeah, it's good. You're not a pleasure to cook for wow. You are correct. You're not a pleasure to eat with jazz. No, I didn't mean it that way. But you don't even mean no, I get it. If you cook for me or my family, we're like, oh, my gosh, you guys are so good. You're making noise while the food you're like, what is happening over here, man? But, yeah, no, I generally respond with it. Yeah, it's good. Okay, so was this a good year for you? Yes, it was. Okay. I'm asking that because there's some key findings that came out of the Ipsos Global Advisor Predictions goal for 2023, and I want to look at some other predictions and talk a little bit about the topic at hand today, which is resolutions to revolutionize relationships in 2023 and beyond. But before they got to the predictions for 2023, they offered a very brief 2022 in retrospect, and 73% say this year was a bad year for my country, which is down 77% from 21 and down from 90% in 20. So we're seeing improvement, although 73% saying, this is a bad year for my country is pretty high. This is a global survey, by the way, and the range was from 44% in Saudi Arabia, so the most positive in the lower to 87% in Hungary. And 56% across the globe say that this year was a bad year for me and my family, which is down only 2% from 2021 and down considerably 14% from 70% in 2020. So overall, we're still seeing negative perception, and in the predictions I'll go over in just a moment, we're seeing pessimism, but it's all of those negative trending in the right direction. Exactly. So the negativity is trending down. So I wouldn't say this year was a bad year for me and my family. I guess I'd fall into the 44%. Yeah, I would agree. I feel the same way. I mean, again, perspective challenges, like, what are you up against? But for me personally, I thought it had a good year for me and my family, and there was some stuff that happened, too, and 2022 for me flew by. Yeah, I agree. Wow. Reflecting back now on the entire year, it whipped by, and maybe because there's so much happening globally. Like, when you think back as to the news that hit at the beginning of the year, it's hard to believe that it was a year ago. I don't have a reference right now. You could put me on the spot, but I'm trying to remember major, significant events that happened in January. Well, a year ago today, it was the big was it Omar Crown breakout? Not today today,

Naked News host & producer Laura Desiree joins us to talk about her career in journalism and her journey to living a life free of shame and full of pleasure. She discusses the stigma associated with nudity and the erotic and shares strategies for letting go of the self-judgment that holds us back from living our best lives. Follow Laura Desiree's work: Instagram and you can find the Licked and Loaded Podcast here. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Let Go of Judgment & Shame Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Happy holidays to you, Mr. Ware. Happy holidays to you, too. I've been in the holiday spirit for, like, two months, and Brandon is finally in the holiday spirit. And why? Why? Because you were throwing snowballs at your nephews yesterday. Because my nephews were lobbing us snowballs to whip at them. They've got terrible lateral mobility, and I stung one of them right in the butt when he was making me another snowball to throw at him. I caught your brother in the butt when he he was walking out of our house, and I don't even think he felt it. He has five children, Brandon's brother, and I think once you have five children, you don't even feel things hit you from behind. I just want to describe our snowball fight, although it's totally unrelated to the topic at hand. We had the ultimate snowball fight yesterday because somehow, I don't even know how this happened, we were standing in our front doorway, like, not even outside of the house, and the kids were all outside making snowballs and gently throwing them to us so that we we could whip them at them. How does that even happen? I have the dream life. That's the dream life. It was wonderful. We were warm. We didn't have to make snowballs. The snow was extra hard, so it's really stung when you hit them with it. And these kids are so polite, they didn't even throw the snowballs at us. They lobbed them to us so that we could throw them at them. And as I had said, they haven't really developed all of their motor skills yet, so they're chucking and jiving and diving just wasn't on par yet, so we won. Basically. It's winning anyhow. Makes you want to have kids, if that's what happened. Kids. That's what kids is all about. Sign me up. Don't at me on that one. Okay, so we're very close to the holidays. If you are in the gifting spirit for yourself or for a partner or for a loved one or for, perhaps your boss, we have some fabulous courses@happiercouples.com. We have mindful sex. We have how to last longer in bed and get over premature ejaculation. Not for your boss. Unless your boss has expressed, this is my wish list. I'm hoping for a promotion. Here's a course I thought might help. Yeah, this one's on blowjobs, and then there's one on how to pleasure the clip, but you're familiar with it, so check those courses out. Happiercouples.com. Save 25% with code podcast. And I do think that they're all really valuable learning opportunities for you, your friends, your family, and maybe not your code workers. It depends on your relationship with your coworkers. If you work in my field, you can buy it for your coworkers. Yeah. And if you work in the corporate environment, you know what? You've got Brandon's endorsement. Do not buy them the courses. Do not do it. Okay,

Want to experiment with orgasms? Explore pleasure across every square inch of your body with this head-to-toe pleasure guide that will help you get out of your head and into your body. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Full Body Orgasms Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. This is the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, throwing me off by giving my oneliner that I practice in the mirror. Here's your oneline. Go. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast asked. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half. And Dr. Jess. What are we talking about today? What full body owes? I feel like my voice is a little off today. I had a late night. You did have a late night. I've been trying to stay on European time. How's that working? Because I like waking up at 430 in the morning. I love being up before everyone else. 4 hours later the sun comes up here in Toronto. The problem is you go to bed at 01:00 in the morning, so getting up at four is a bit of a challenge. I went to bed at about two last night. Yeah, I did hear it. Yes, I did. Because I did not stay up that late. I don't know how you slept through us making all that noise. I'm obviously super loud, but I have another extremely loud friend. Oh, really? Brandon has learned to tune us out because our house is small. Like, you can hear everything in the house, but somehow you were asleep. Yes, I was. That's my superpower. I can sleep through anything. No, your superpower is you can tune me and Mel out. I'm going to send this to my friend Mel. So holidays are upon us. This is a super social week for me. Every day and every night I've got events and social gatherings and parties and I'm excited. I'm a little nervous because everyone's sick and I'm trying to stay healthy. It's a two cough, two sneeze threshold for me. Unless you're one of those eight sneeze consecutive people where I'm like, okay, I get it. Someone close talked to me last night, so I started kind of breathing really hard. You're disturbing the air around because I'm sure you looked really normal doing that too. I was hoping he would just kind of back off a little. So you did essentially a candle blowout in his face while he was talking and I was moving my head around in a circle. Was it sexy or was like, what was going on there? It was not sexy. I'm envisioning that right now and it does not look and sexy. No, but I don't know. I'm thinking about social Burnett. I was thinking about how much fun I'm having right now, kind of being back with people. We've got work parties. I've weaseled my way into parties that are not my work parties. We're going to an amazing work dinner on Thursday night for a company we don't work for. I'm hoping to get an employee of the year. This whole easing back in, it's not easy. Listen, a lot of people have been back at it in full steam for a year or more, and some people aren't really going out at all. Obviously, there's people who are higher risk. Of course, there's both ends of the spectrum, but what I'm noticing is that sometimes people are out, and that initial climatization back to social settings was weird. I had somebody full on just let one rip. No, yeah, it was my dad or your mom, in which case it wasn't unusual. It was normal. But no. We're standing in a circle talking, and all of a sudden, I'm like, that wasn't like, wow, that was definitely noticeable. And the odor is also noticeable,

Jess & Brandon share techniques for mind-blowing nipple orgasms and uncover some of the hottest pleasure-zones, including the F-Spot, the 3-Spot & the R-Spot. They also share strategies for supporting a partner who can't orgasm because he "gets in his head." And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Nipple Orgasms & What To Do When Your Partner Can't Orgasm Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey. Hey. This is Brandon and Jess coming at you from the new Fantasy See podcast studios, the Sex with Dr. Jet Podcast Studios, also known as the tiny guest bedroom in our Barcelona apartment. It's super high tech. We got pillows everywhere to try and get rid of those pop pops. But I do want to kind of shout out Brandon for changing his intro. Yes. That took a lot of extra planning. He's been working on it in his little red book for, I don't know, the last couple of dozen minutes, and he came up with, hey, it's Brandon. Hey. That's it. That's all I got. Today we are talking about nipple orgasms, and I'm going to answer one of your questions about what to do when your partner can't orgasm, when they can orgasm on their own, but not with their partner. And we've talked about this before more from a goaloriented perspective. Like, here are some ways you can learn to have an orgasm with your partner. But I want to talk about it from a different angle because this question came in just a little differently. And beginning of December, we're here. The holiday season is upon us. People have been throwing holiday parties already from a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, I got invited to a holiday party, I think the end of November. Don't brag. I'm getting, like, no income. I'm just saying I got one. That's all I've got so far. But you didn't go. No, I didn't go. I wonder if people are throwing as many parties because of this terrible cold and flu going around. People are knocked off their feet, sick. So I hope that you are not at home listening because you're stuck at home sick. But I want to say to everyone, I mean, this maybe doesn't apply, but I love you, but please don't come near me if you have a colder you get two random cough or sneezes. Once we get to number three, you're sick. Stay away from me then. I'm counting. I'm counting. It's all over. So, busy season. Hopefully a more relaxing season than in previous years. I think that obviously there's less stress around COVID because most of us are triple quadruple vaccinated, where many of us are still practicing social distancing and wearing masks. It seems like everyone here in Barcelona is sick as a dog. I'm really excited about this year. I'm going to go around licking random objects on the street. Right? If you know Brandon, that's not true. He does not like germs. Keep the sick people away. But yeah, I'm going to go around licking things. Yeah. Well, anyhow, I hope everyone's doing well. Hope you're doing well. I wanted to mention the fact that it was just World AIDS Day a couple of days ago, maybe a week ago for you now, and want to talk about the fact that HIV and conversations around HIV AIDS have really, I guess, fallen to the wayside. In light of the fact that we're going through this global pandemic and with the focus on the pandemic over the last few years, resources, whether it's related to press coverage or money or agency supports, have actually really dwindled, which means that millions of more people are at risk.

From clitoral orgasms to prostate orgasms to G-Spot orgasms and everything in-between, Jess and Brandon share tips & personal insights & experiences on orgasm. They also discuss how height affects sexual pleasure and chat about the Peony & Mushroom sex toys. If you're shopping for toys, be sure to check out LoveShopToys.com and use code DRJESS to save! And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How To Have Different Types Of Orgasms Part I Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your hostess, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Suggest, here to talk orgasms today and all the different types of orgasms. Brandon, how many types of orgasms do you think there are? 1010. Different. Just a random number I've thrown out. Yes. What we were going to talk about, about ten or eleven. Okay. I don't have the answer to that. I think it would be sort of infinite. There could be all not infinite. All right. Okay. Not going to be thousands of different types of orgasms. Maybe there are, though, depending on how you classify an orgasm. So we're going to be talking about them quitoral, cervical, Gspot, prostate fullbodied blended. I'm going to see how many we get to because, I don't know, there's a lot of them. So we're going to go through I also want to talk about Short Kings, because I've been watching the Sex Lives of College Girls on HBO. Max and I did this press up for Elite Daily the other day, and they were asking me to either confirm or debunk the idea that short men are better in bed. So we're going to get to all of that. But first I want to shout out Love Shop, because Love Shop has been supporting our podcast, and we share so many of our missions in common in terms of just destigmatizing sex, talking about sex, which is obviously what we are here doing. And I had mentioned last week that they sent me a whole bunch of toys. I've been using a handful of them. I don't think I talked about the mushroom last week, so it's a little also known as the Mushroom. Mushroom, mushroom, mushroom. The Mushroom. You say it wrong. I'll tell you what, I'm not going to go put a poll out on this one on Instagram because I'm going to lose. There's going to be, like, four Jamaicans who agree with me, and the rest of the people are going to agree with you. So the Mushroom is a small to medium sized wand that I was I'll be honest, I was a little bit reticent and suspect of it to begin with because it's very, very flexible. It has this really flexible head. It's quite soft and plush. But I am actually loving it again for the same reason I loved the peony from last week. Sorry, go ahead and correct me on peony. Peony. Okay. That one's hard, though. I don't know. I'm going to put the pull out on that one. So the mushroom wand available@loveshoptoys.com. It has a flexible head, and I'm loving it because it feels very diffused, and I like that it's kind of soft. It has some give to it. But if you want to add your own pressure as you kind of get closer to orgasm, you can. So I'm going to shout out the mushroom. I'm going to shout out the Pionee. I love the pionee. I mentioned last week that it has all these little gentle nubbins on it. And I've never, ever in my life used a product like this. So very, very cool. And then finally the Kala lily. I love the Kalalai because it's a lily with a little tonguelike device sticking out of it.

What makes an orgasm bigger or better? How do you know if you or a partner has had an orgasm? Can some bodies orgasm more easily than others? Tune in for an orgasm Q&A on everything from faking to mindfulness and more. Brought to you by our friends at Love Shop. Don't miss their Black Friday & Cyber Monday 50% off sales. And if the sales are over, save 15% and get discreet 2-4 day shipping with code DRJESS. Be sure to check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your moves and learn some new skills all while laughing along to Dr. Jess' hilarious jokes. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Have More Fun With Orgasms! Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware, are here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. We are talking orgasms today. Give me your best orgasm. I'm not going to. Oh, no. And we're done. Why is it an oh, no? I was going to say no. I wasn't going to do it, but it happened too quickly and I rolled with it. Okay, we are answering your questions about orgasms. They have been piling up. I have a whole heap of them in my email, and we're going to try and get to as many of them as possible today. And before we get to your questions, I want to announce a new partnership with our friends over at Love Shop Toys. And I'm super excited to be working with them because I've been chatting with them recently and we're really aligned on, obviously, the mission of destigmatizing sex talk and just starting more conversations around the topic. And they have sent me a box of goodies that are totally different than any of the other goodies and toys I've talked about in the past. So I'm going to briefly tell you about three of them. They sent me a whole lot more than three. So it's been a busy week. But I started with three flower toys. So the rose in the thistle, the pionee and the callalilli. And Brennan's going to say it's. How do you say pionee? Peony. Fine. Peony. Whatever. But my mother said, pioneering up. I'm going to start there. Always start with your mom. And I'm biased because the pionee is my favorite flower. My mom grows them in her garden. They only boom for this short period of time, which for me, makes them feel special. So I was totally ready to love this toy and I did. So it is very different in its design than any other product I've used because it has these kind of tiny bristles or silicone ticklers, sort of like the very, very soft bristles of a head massager. Or when I was growing up, we had this really soft potato cleaning brush. But anyhow, you'll see bristles like this or massagers in facial products, right? The kind that sort of vibrate on your face to clean up the skin and improve circulation. And I hope I'm describing it properly, but if you want a visual, head on over to Loveshoptoys.com. Dr. Jess. I really like this one because it's really gentle. And here is the kicker. For me, the sensations felt really diffused and dispersed, as opposed to being kind of pinpointed. So if you're more sensitive or you just like a more diffuse sensation, this one is for you, the pionee. Next, I tried the Kala Lily, and this one was interesting because it mimics the movements ...

How do you talk about porn in relationships? What if you disagree about porn? Why would a partner opt for porn and masturbation over partnered sex? Jess & Brandon weigh in on a listener question related to her fiancé's porn use. They share communication prompts and strategies for discussion porn when you and your partner are not on the same page. And once again, if you are looking for The Sex Spreadsheet, check that blog post here. If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save! Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save 50% off almost any single item + get FREE gifts and free shipping. From dildos to butt plugs to lube and lingerie, they’ve got you covered. Be sure to check out the Mind Blowing Oral: Penis or Clit edition sale at HappierCouples.com. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video course designed to help you perfect your moves and learn some new skills all while laughing along to Dr. Jess' hilarious jokes. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Q&A: Help! My partner picks porn over me Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other or half and Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey, how you doing? I'm great. How are you doing? I'm excellent. I've been unpacking sex toys all morning. Yes. Got sex toys on sex toys. It's boxes and boxes of new vibes. What else did you do with them while you were unpacking them? Why are you saying that? Oh, I juggled them. I juggled them. Yes, I've been juggling sex toys. I'm not very good at juggling. And a circus show at our house this morning. I do juggle for the gram. Just for the gram. People are always like, oh, you can juggle. I'm like, no, I can't juggle. I can only juggle long enough to do a loop on the gram. Same thing with headstands. I'd like to credit my filming abilities because it looks like you juggle for hours on end. Oh, yeah, I wish. I wish. Yeah. Every time people see me, they ask about yoga. They're like, oh, you're doing more yoga. I have no clue what they're talking about. It's because I put headstand pictures on Instagram. People think I do yoga, but all I do is a plain headstand. You got crazy headstand abilities. Like, you can hold a headstand for days, and you can do it on it. I'm going to throw it over to you right now. You can hold a headstand on a paddle board, angled surfaces on the beach. Well, not for days. I'm falling down just walking on them. And you're doing headstands. Your headstand is getting good, but it's performative. People listen. I'm just doing it to get the picture and to get the video done so that I don't have to learn any TikTok dances. Well, I like it. It works out well. So these sex toys, I have a small house and too many sex toys, but I'm really excited because I got some new ones that I've never seen before. So LoveShop sent me a whole bunch of toys. One is a mushroom or mushroom for people who don't like mushrooms. Mushroom. Say it again. A mushroom. A mushroom. That one feels really, really good. Even I liked that one. And then I got a pionee or peony. I don't know. My mom said pionee.

Journalist, hip-hop artist, and porn performer, Malcolm Lovejoy, joins Jess and Brandon to share his insights on music, sexual rights, the adult industry, orgies, sex clubs, and more. What makes for a successful orgy? What really goes down at a porn shoot? Why do sexual rights matter? What is the porn star experience? We've extended the Mindful Sex sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! If you're looking to add a new toy to your collection or for something that will buzz and vibrate bringing new and intense pleasure, check out our friends at We-Vibe and Womanizer. Use code DRJESS at checkout to save!   Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Lessons From A Porn Star: Orgies, Love & More! Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon. We're here with my lovely other half, Dr. Or Jess. Hey. Hey. And today we are joined by Adam. You Malcolm Lovejoy, whom we ran into just a few weeks ago at the Taboo show in Toronto. And it had been a couple of years. I just want to tell the people about you before we dive in. So you are a hip hop artist, a journalist. You are an adult entertainer. You are the winner of two International porn awards. Feminist porn. I think that's right. And you're just a lovely person. You're passionately, devoted to providing safety, satisfaction, sexed, inspiration, and everlasting memories for folks of all genders and exploring just intimacy, needs and sexuality. Your services range from I was looking at your website. You have massage, you have cuddling, you have the boyfriend experience, the porn star experience, love coaching. You do it all. And I know that that short bio does not do you justice. So what did I miss? Tell us about you. Oh, I am honored and I'm thankful that you spread the truth. I don't know if I could say all, but I do as much as my body and mind and soul possibly can in a day for somebody who needs love and truth and help in this very violent and cold and beautiful and crazy wild world we're all in. I do my best. It's been ten years. I have won a couple of awards, and I've got X amount of experience in what I like to call the trenches of love and relationship. I also do music. I'm working on a book, and the book has been my Achilles heel for some reason. I could write articles and I could write BIOS for other people and I could write about poly all the time, but finishing my book has been a problem. But I'm a big book nerd about sex, so I'm doing what I can in this life to spread love and joy and truth. Well, we look forward to the book, and I think we need to talk about that connection between hip hop and porn and your journey from hip hop to porn and back and forth. And, of course, we're dealing with this week the brutal and tragic death of takeoff from Migos. And I've seen numerous reactions across social media platforms ranging from kind of accusations around hip hop and the supposedly inherent violence to reactions that are really informed by love and reasons why it can be difficult for so many. Folks to access love and why we turn oftentimes to violence and being territorial and how that's rooted in, you know,

Do you sometimes feel like you talk a lot, but your partner doesn't really hear you? Have you told them what you like, but they don't seem to get it? This week, we weigh in on how to overcome blockages that hinder sexual communication. We've extended the Mindful Sex sale at HappierCouples.com for one more week. Use code PODCAST to save 25% on this comprehensive video & audio course designed to help you drown out distractions and tune into pleasure. If you have questions for the podcast, submit them here. And please be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Are you looking to add some excitement to your love life? Whether you're enjoying solo sex or having fun with a group, check out some of these vibrating, pulsing and stimulating toys from our friends at We-Vibe to spice up your sex life. Use code DRJESS to save! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sexual Communication Participant #1: You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your co host, Brandon. We're here with my my lovely other half and Dr. Jess. Hey. Hey. Today we are talking about how to get a lover, a partner to understand what you really want, how to really communicate and listen and push through the nonsense, the fog, the sociocultural conditioning that maybe makes it difficult for us to listen and hear. And we have a question from you, dear listener. And last week we talked about the spreadsheet, the sex spreadsheet, and a bunch of you emailed me asking for it. So if you do want to copy, I'm happy to send it out. I haven't put it online, but if you want to copy, shoot us an email info@textbookdoctorjust.com and we will send it your way. I also had some follow up questions from the Blow Job Blue Job sessions. We did a couple of couple of those episodes about lube, and I was talking a lot about Loo, and they wanted to know what kind I recommend. And honestly, there are really great lubes on the market, so I have to share. Full disclosure, I work with Astro Glide, so I tend to use Astroglide Organics, which is paraben free and fragrance free and glycerin free and all that jazz. I also like pure woman P-J-U-R. But I've tried dozens and dozens of lubes. Brandon kind of just reaches, I think, for whatever is next to you. Right? You're not picky at all. Yeah, I'm not picky. Whatever is in the cupboard, I'm happy to use. Yeah. So some people just aren't that particular. So I would suggest if you're able to go to a local sex positive shop, you can kind of feel the lubes and taste the lubes to see what works for you. And there are a ton of tons of different brands out there. Organic stuff, water based stuff, silicone based stuff. The silicon based lube will last a little bit longer, and you can use it in the shower because it doesn't wash away as easily and it tends to be a little bit slicker. And then the waterbased stuff is just a little bit more generally, a little bit more viscous, and will wash away more easily. And a lot of people will opt for that. For example, oral play and anything to do with the vagina, but you can use both kind of anywhere. Anyone who's having anal generally uses a silicon base lube just because there's a little bit more padding to it. It's a little bit thicker and longer lasting. Yes, you might have been away recently, and I might have used one, and it didn't wash away in the water and had to use something to get rid of it. Like just soap, right? Soap and water. Yeah. Okay. Yes,