The Brick Wall That Is Fatherhood | Chris Gethard on Loneliness, Connection, Parenting

Modern Dadhood

Mar 31 2023 • 40 mins

Most new-dads-to-be do the obligatory preparation: You look through the couple of "survival guide" style books gifted to you by a friend. Watch YouTube videos on swaddling techniques. Read up on tips for potty training. Buy a new coffee maker to elevate your caffeine game. And ready your mind for the impending insanity of parenthood. But somehow, despite all the "thorough" preparation, every new parent gets sideswiped with a slew of unexpected emotions and challenges. And here's what those "survival guide" books can't possibly set you up for: Becoming a parent will change you... And it can bring on some intense emotions and self-revelations. Comedian, writer, actor, and podcaster Chris Gethard returns to Modern Dadhood to chat about the cultural shift that's enabling dads to examine these feelings. In classic Gethard style, even the heavier themes which appear in his new book The Lonely Dad Conversations are explored with openness, sincerity, and a lot of humor, and the same is true of our chat in this episode. Don't drop off before another installment of the beloved (sub)segment Did I Just Hear That Out Loud? [This is part 1 of a 2 part episode.]

Episode 83 of Modern Dadhood opens with Marc & Adam trying out an exercise where they expedite their catch up by reducing it to 5 words. They keep it brief because they know that their first returning podcast guest, comedian Chris Gethard, is going to bring the goods. Chris hosts his own podcasts Beautiful Anonymous and New Jersey Is The World, he stars in standup specials, has appeared in numerous TV shows and films, and he returns to Modern Dadhood to discuss his new book The Lonely Dad Conversations.

Chris and Hallie's son Caleb ("Cal") is 4 years old, and as Chris shares candidly, he's potty trained, but can't yet wipe his own butt. After reassuring him that Cal will hit that game-changing milestone soon, we get down to business and talk loneliness. When Cal was born, Chris found himself in a state of deep loneliness, and in an effort to better understand these feelings, he interviewed a bunch of fellow dads about their unique fatherhood experiences. Chris grouped the answers by common themes that came up, and spoiler alert... it turns out he wasn't alone in his loneliness.

The guys discuss a number of themes which pop up in The Lonely Dad Conversations, including:

•  The rejection of "Hustle Culture"
•  Focusing on your own death when you become a parent
•  The importance of maintaining your sense of self
•  How your concept of time shifts when you become a parent
•  And more!

The conversation will span two episodes, so please subscribe to Modern Dadhood so you'll be alerted when episode #2 releases!

The guys round out the episode with an installment of Did I Just Say Hear Out Loud?

Chris Gethard (official)
The Lonely Dad Conversations (Scribd)
Chris on Twitter
Chris on Instagram
Chris on Facebook
Beautiful Anonymous
New Jersey Is The World
Career Suicide (HBO)
Red Vault Audio
Caspar Babypants
Spencer Albee
Stuffed Animal