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Bible Stories for Atheists
Bible Stories for Atheists
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Your guides to the miraculously macabre stories literaly literarily littering the bible.
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Jun 1 2021
3 mins
Mother!
It's a Mother's Day episode! Josh's mom, Jill, and Lindsay's son, Connor, join us.
May 8 2022
1 hr 36 mins
Here’s Some Mud in Your Eye
Rejuvenating Jesus mud, a rich fool, 50% of people going to heaven, and 10 virgins. What more could you want from a podcast?
Apr 24 2022
1 hr 25 mins
Oh, the Audacity
Don't look it up. Let's see how well you remember it. Try to complete this sentence, "Our Father, who art in heaven…"
Apr 10 2022
1 hr 17 mins
Jesus Bleach
Have you ever wondered when Jesus went from a middle eastern person to a white Anglo-Saxon? No… it doesn't just stem from German Protestant racism. It was the Transfiguration! When God bleaches Jesus's clothes white and "transforms his face".
Mar 27 2022
1 hr 28 mins
Jesus Yeast
Remember when the apostles all left to minister to Israel and Jesus said they wouldn't be done before he returns? Well they're done… awkward. Jesus throws his own Fyre Festival where 5,000 people show up and no one thought through logistics of buying food, or probably showers and toilets.
Mar 13 2022
1 hr 5 mins
The Birds are Satan
It's a parable filled episode and we dig into the storytelling of Jesus. Is he a great storyteller like Homer or Aesop? Or more like a Blue's Clues reject writer, getting pissed off when the kids don't understand what the hell the mustard seed means?
Feb 27 2022
1 hr 21 mins
Mary and Her Nards
This was an interesting one, folks. We find out how one major character's traditional backstory is complete bullshit. But first, the BIG sermon.
Feb 13 2022
1 hr 25 mins
Fight Club Jesus
We kick off this episode hearing a miraculous story about two blind men somehow being able to follow Jesus as he dodges their pleas for help. After he relents he's suddenly stopped by the most pointless demon ever to exist.
Jan 30 2022
1 hr 2 mins
Validating the Invalid
These days to get famous you just need good looks and a smartphone. But people forget that to get famous in biblical times you needed to cure leprosy and paralysis. But life is tough when you become a religious influencer. You get crowded. And there's probably other problems.
Jan 16 2022
52 mins
You Are About to be Tooken
Jesus' first miracle, whipping religious profiteers, a lady by a well, and a demon or two. It's a fun episode!
Jan 2 2022
1 hr 20 mins
Saturnalia for the Paganalia: A Christmas Special
Ho ho ho all you sinners and sodomites! We're jumping the shark with a Christmas special! Made even more special by Josh's mom, Jill, who stopped by as our first guest.
Dec 19 2021
1 hr 9 mins
Geriatric Parenting 101
Jesus jumps from twelve years old to thirty years old without any apparent need to inform us about his formative years. Did he get acne? Or surprise boners? {Insert raising Lazarus joke here} Did he get his Masters in Divinity from ITT Tech?
Dec 5 2021
49 mins
Nativity: The Musical
Merry Christmas, sinners & sodomites! In this week's episode we dive into the gospels with the birth of our lord and savior. A story so vital and so foundational to the religion that it only appears in two of the gospels.
Nov 21 2021
1 hr 11 mins
All About the He Said, She Said Bull$#!*
Welcome to the rabbit hole I've been living in for the last few months. What I found cracked my view of the world apart like the first time evolution was explained to me by someone who wasn't a creationist.
Nov 7 2021
1 hr 55 mins
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Restart
Does God only love a few thousand people? Is there a second set of Ten Commandments? Is Moses getting exposed to high doses of radiation? Is Aaron getting bullied into building bull gods? All these questions and more go unanswered in this week's episode.
Oct 24 2021
1 hr 9 mins
Manna Crusted Quail with Rock Water
Much like the Ever Given, God parts the Suez Canal and causes a serious mess for international trade. Oh yeah, and needlessly kills people. But it's fine, because it's so people know that God has glory. Also, we cover slavery and the Ten Commandements.
Oct 10 2021
1 hr 21 mins
Stuck Between a Desert and Pharaoh’s Hard Place
Here it is, folks. The plagues! You know. That time when God wiped out a whole bunch of people instead of just letting Pharaoh do the right thing. And why? Because they wanted to get Pharaoh's dick hard… I MEAN HEART! Or do I? ;-)
Sep 26 2021
1 hr 11 mins
Yes, That Moses
Things have been looking grim for the Israelites since the days of Joseph. God has allowed their chosen people to fall into slavery because… reasons. But then came Moses.
Sep 12 2021
1 hr 16 mins
Joseph: Now In Technicolor – Pt. 2
You know that awkward moment when you run into that brother you sold into slavery who is now a super successful right-hand ruler of Egypt? We've all been there, and thankfully the bible provides relevant moral lessons when in such a circumstance.
Aug 29 2021
1 hr 1 min
Joseph: Now in Technicolor – Pt. 1
You've seen the musical, now hear the disturbingly disappointing actual story of Joseph and his Technicolor Dream Resume. In this dramatic re-imagining of Rudolf, the Red Nosed Reindeer, Jacob's favorite son is the little tattle tale all his brothers love to hate. Remember, kids. Snitches get thrown in a cistern and sold into slavery!
Aug 15 2021
1 hr 15 mins
