Welcome back to Thru the Undertow. I’m your host Nicole Lowell. I am back with another

important episode today. As a reminder, I will be sharing content and trigger warnings for these

episodes so that you can decide if this is something you can listen to right now.

Content Warning - sexual abuse, rape, male sexual assault, military sexual assault, toxic relationships, child abuse, kill, drugs, promiscuity, alcohol abuse, picking of skin and hair, verbal/psychological abuse between parents, vicarious trauma

On today’s episode, I was joined by Marissa F. Cohen. I met her through a support group for

parents of sexually abused children on Facebook. After doing more research, I learned more

about her and knew I wanted to bring her on the show so that she could share her expertise with

you all.

After struggling with her own journey of abuse, Marissa wanted to help as many people as

possible through their abuse journeys with the books she created. In her books she shares her

stories and the stories of others who have suffered abuse with a focus on the healing aspect. If

you don’t address and work through the abuse, it can become very dangerous. Marissa aims to

provide a manual to people in this situation so that they can understand how to work through

their trauma and heal.

Marissa is also a healing coach and she works with victims to find healing through various

techniques. She shares tips today for how to spot red flags when it comes to abusers, how to

talk to your kids about consent, using code words, offering safety and comfort to children that

have been abused, vicarious trauma, and so much more. Marissa has a wealth of knowledge to

share on the topic and I am so happy she joined me on the show today.

As always, I am here to listen and help how I can. Feel free to reach out with any feedback or

questions you have about the show. Please rate and review the podcast on your platform of

choice and share with those you think may benefit from hearing our message.

Until next time,

Nicole

Timestamps:

1:56 - Why Marissa decided to create her books

3:16 - What the Breaking Through The Silence series is about

4:28 - The impact of not addressing abuse at the child level

5:21 - Why children shouldn’t be forced to hug family members when they aren’t comfortable

6:33 - Not enough people talk about the abuse men suffer through

8:02 - Anybody can be an offender

9:53 - What Marissa does as a healing coach

11:19 - The Emotional Abuse philosophy Marissa uses with her clients

12:35 - How abusers use “D.A.R.V.O.” and what the acronym stands for

14: 35 -Why abusers chose their targets; it’s not about the person, it’s about control

16:22 - Five ways that we excuse abuse

19:20 - Behavior changes seen in children that are abused

21:24 - Children’s books that help children conceptualize what consent is

23:54 - Ways to talk to your kids to let them know what is and isn’t okay

25: 31 - Code words can be a great tool for helping children communicate what’s going on with

them

26:57 - Safety and comfort are the most important things a parent can offer when a child has

been abused

32:47 - How social media has affected our society

35:37 - Being aggressive and abrasive to your kids doesn’t make your kids stronger or more

resilient

37:01 - What coaching looks like with Marissa

41:24 - What vicarious trauma is and why so many parents experience it

Resources/Links to information discussed:

Get Marissa’s free ebook to learn the 3 signs of a toxic relationship at her website - https://marissafayecohen.com

• -Mention you found her on Thru the Undertow

Follow Marissa on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/marissafcohen/

Follow Marissa on...