The connect component of the EI model represents how we interact with others, and it comes into play every time we engage with others.  Basically, it’s our emotional intelligence in action. It’s the culmination of acting on good reflection and detection skills.  Being effective at connecting means:

• You are capable of developing and growing mutually beneficial relationships.
• You can move past biases and hold people in the highest regard.
• You can flex your communication to be in sync with other people's social style.
• You act in big and small ways to build trust.

In part 4 of our Emotional Intelligence Series, Sheryl and Mike discuss how to use what we’re seeing to adjust our interactions to help build bonds, connect with others and get things done.

Referenced in the episode:
The CONNECT component is about making conscious efforts to consider emotions and behaviors as we grow mutually beneficial relationships.

Trust builders:

• Admitting when you’re wrong
• Sharing credit with others
• Using the person's name
• Doing what you say you’ll do
• Taking your share of the work load
• Encouraging others

Trust breakers:

• Not following through on your commitments
• Distracting gestures
• Talking about only about yourself
• Not taking your share of the workload
• Being overly-negative or pessimistic
• Casting blame when things go awry

We reference a technique called "Start, Stop, Continue".  You can learn more about that here.

These self-reflection questions are designed to help you gauge your level of emotional intelligence as it relates to the components of the EI model:  Reflect, Detect and Connect.
REFLECT

• You have a good grasp on what emotions you experience and why.
• If you become irritated, you have no trouble calming down quickly.
• When you want to, you can put up a good poker face.

DETECT

• You are good at picking up on what emotions others are experiencing.
• It easy for you to pick up the vibe in a room.
• You are comfortable in emotional situations that would make other people uncomfortable.

CONNECT

• Can you influence people.
• People seek your advice on how to deal with difficult people and situations.
• You always take other people’s emotions into account when delivering bad news.

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